13 Letters (Jenlisa)

Letter #07

March 23 23:00/11:00pm

Jennie,

Honestly, I don't know where to start. I don't know if why I still wrote you this letter. Because I'm so hurt right now. It fucking hurts. I felt like dying. I wanna kill myself.

Is this why people commits suicide just because of Love? So, is this how it feels? Now I know how it feels. It really hurts like hell. Fuck! It really does. I'm crying while writing this.

I thought 23 is gonna be our day. Maybe is it because I expected too much? Maybe it's because I liked you so much? I never thought about some things that would possibly happen. I was slapped so hard by the truth. Shit! I'm so dumb!

Earlier, I went to our place but you were never there. I waited but you never really came. I went home and watched the news. And there I found out the truth about you which I never expected.

It turns out that you are an only daughter from a rich family. That building that you entered a few months ago was your family's belonging. I was shocked. I never expected you to be a daughter of a rich family. I really didn't know anything about you. Your life was so private. Unlike some of the rich families who are always seen on televisions. But I was getting curious if suddenly why you and your family was shown on the news.

And there it goes, my question was quickly answered with the biggest revelation, which turns out to be the biggest nightmare that I could ever have in my entire life.

"BREAKING NEWS: THE ONLY DAUGHTER OF THE KIMS, KIM JENNIE, IS ANNOUNCED TO BE ENGAGED WITH THE MULTIMILLIONAIRE BUSINESSMAN, KIM TAEHYUNG.

When I heard it, tears immediately fell from my eyes. I dropped the glass of water that I was holding. My mind went blank, Everything went black. I really thought I was dreaming. I wished I was dreaming. Tears kept falling from my eyes. My heart was aching so much. I was suffocating.

I slowly walked towards the television and turned it off. I went to my room and I cried. I cried so hard. I screamed the hell out of me. Fuck. It hurts! Somebody please help me!

Why? Why did this happen? No. Please someone tell me that I'm only dreaming. Shit! Please. Tell me this is only a dream! It hurts...

I can't believe it. The love of my life is already owned by someone else. That's it. I was only fantasizing my love for you. I was so stupid for thinking that you will be mine. I never even dared to speak to you. I never even dared to do anything to make you mine. I just watched you from afar. I only kept on thinking about you. I never did anything. I'm such a coward.

Fuck! I'm too late. Everything's too late. I can't do it anymore. You can't be mine anymore.

I hope he makes you happy. I hope that he genuinely loves you. I hope he never makes you cry. I hope he'll be by your side when you cry. I hope he stays with you. I hope he'll do everything that I wanted to do for you. He's so lucky. He is so damn lucky to have you. He already has my Kim Jennie. I wanted to be him. I wish I was him. Can I be him?

But then, that is it. My wonderful dream has come to an end. Reality woke me up from my fantasies. It's all over.

The day 23 is the best and also the worst day of my life. How ironic.

I hope you're happy. Please be happy, Jennie. I really mean it.

I'm so sorry for being such a loser.

Love, Lisa