13 Letters (Jenlisa)

Letter #13

September 23 23:00/11:00pm

Jennie, My Kim Jennie,

This is probably the longest letter that I've ever written for you.

At last, I can finally call you mine with this much confidence. Everything was a big surprise. i don't even know where to start. i guess I'll just go with it.

August 23, last month, I came back to Seoul. I told myself to go back here every 23rd. I came back to my apartment since I left the envelope that your cousin Jisoo gave to me last time. And I decided to read it, exactly the same time right now.

Everything was unbelievable. I was so speechless about it. I only cried while reading it.

At the moment I finished reading it, I don't know what to do. I was cursing at myself for being a fucking loser. Now everything made sense. Now I know why you looked at me at the cafe. Now I know why I saw tears fell from your eyes. And it was not "Gwaenchan-ha", that you mouthed at me, it was my name. You really did called my name. I didn't want to be delusional that's why I thought it's "Gwaenchan-ha" but it really was "Lisa-ya".

I screamed the hell out of me. That night was the very worst. I felt anger and disappointment to myself. It really hurts. I was suffocating. It was so hard to breathe. I cried and cried for hours. I kept on screaming your name hoping that you'll back. I was screaming your name so loud even though I know you wouldn't hear it. It sucks. It fucking hurts.

It took me days to get up from my senses. I didn't leave the apartment for days. Chaeyoung kept on calling me but I ignored it. My parents were also starting to worry but I told them that I am fine. And one day, I finally decided to fix myself up. Chaeyoung called me again and I answered. She was so worried about me. I apologized and thank her for it. She told me to come to her cafe and I did.

I arrived and I saw Jisoo with Chaeyoung. Both of them are sitting right next to each other. I already knew what we will be talking about so I took a deep breath and I prepared myself. I was about to enter when I saw that the cafe sign says that the cafe is close. I was surprised. Chaeyoung doesn't let her cafe get close unless something very important happens.

I entered the cafe and they both looked at me. They smiled so I did the same. I sat across them and we were so quiet for a while. Jisoo decided to talk first. She asked me if I already read the letter and i nodded. I saw how Jisoo was hesitant to tell me at first but Chaeyoung held her hand and nodded at her so she took a deep breath.

Chaeyoung decided to leave us alone but she was already tearing up. So I listened to your cousin's story, her heartbreaking story. I was listening while tears were already falling from my eyes. Jisoo was also tearing up while telling me everything. And right now, I still clearly remembered every single detail that she told me. I also can't believe it to myself but yes, I remembered all of what she said to me...

"Jennie, she told me about you. She told me how you turned her world upside down in just one night. She kept on talking about you. She was smiling while talking about you. I never saw my cousin smiling because of someone, and I thank you for that. She also showed me the teddy bear that you gave her and she kept on hugging it. She was really cute"

"She told me what happened on that night, when you are both together at her favorite place. It was unexpected yet it was the very best night of her life. At first I was laughing while she was telling me what happened. I was just trying to tease her for a bit. But then she became so serious. She cried. It was the very first time that I saw her cry."