Letter #09

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by itsLiNi23

by itsLiNi23

May 23 23:00/11:00pm

Jennie,

My dearest Jennie. Yes, I'm still calling you "My Jennie" even though you're not. Let me call you mine even just in this letter. I hope you don't mind.

Another 23, another day for pain. And yes, I saw you again. I finally saw you again. But this would be the last time. This would be the very last time that I'll be seeing you. I'm going back home. I'll be staying there for good.

Right now, I'm currently on my flight. I am writing again this letter which I'll never be able to give you.

I can't take the pain anymore. I really felt like dying. I'm literally breathing yet my chest hurts every time. You're all that I think of and it kills me. I'm dying inside.

Earlier, I went back to the cafe of my friend. I went there to say goodbye. I won't be coming back here anymore. I wanna forget you. I'll do anything to forget you. I'll be moving on. Yes I will.

I was about to leave and then you arrived. We both looked at each other. My heart started to shatter into pieces. But then your fiance arrived. He placed his arms around your shoulders. He looked at you so lovingly. Fuck, why did I have to see this?

I passed by the two of you and left the cafe. I looked back, I looked back for the last time. And I saw you looking at me. We both looked again at each other. I saw you shed a tear. You mouthed something. Did I really saw that? Did you just mouthed "Gwaenchanh-a?" (Are you alright?) Is it because my pain is too obvious? Am I really that pitiful?

But I don't wanna be fantasized again so I turned back and walked away. I tried hard not to cry. I was doing my best not to shed a single tear. But I failed. I broke down in tears. It hurts. It really hurts.

This will be the last time that I'll be seeing you. It's enough for me to be able to see you before I left earlier for good. I'm going to leave it all behind.

That was the most painful thing that I ever had, but I never regret it. I never regret loving you.

You are my love at first sight. You are my love who never became mine. You are my happiness. You are my pain. You are my everything.

Thank you Jennie,

Goodbye.

Love, Lisa