Back into town

9. Two broken bodies but with two hearts, melting back together

It has almost been a month now, since I moved back to Riverdale with my children. Polly and Betty are loving their new high school and they both joined the Riven Vixens, the cheerleading squad of Riverdale high which I can't believe it still exists and Betty has joined Jughead on the Blue and Gold. I makes me happy and sad at the same time to see how much she looks like me at the time. Now she, Veronica and Cheryl have been planning Homecoming since the start of school. I'm glad she has found her spot. Charles on the other hand has barely spoken to me since our fight. He is completely going up in his job at the Sheriff station but Tom told me Charles is doing a great job and I shouldn't worry that much. It's also been a month since I kissed FP and I've been avoiding him ever since. Pop switched the scheme and now our shifts aren't at the same time anymore except on Thursday night. Which was tonight. Sighing I already changed into my waitress uniform and put my hair in a loose bun. I quickly put some lipbalm on my lips and then I took my purse and car keys before leaving the house. As I parked in front of Pop's I saw FP parking his truck. He jumped out, already in his uniform, and he walked inside. I leaned back and took a deep breath. Every Thursday night felt like a torture. 5 hours of being in the presence of the one you never stopped loving but knowing that if you give in, it'll all crash down on you. I collected myself, locked my car and walked inside.

"Alice, could you do table four please? Then I can clean the toilets." FP asked as I came to pour some coffee. I nodded and he walked to the toilets. It's been like this the past four hours. We exchanged the minimum of words, although that was mostly because of me. Yet I felt he wanted to tell me something but I just kept acting like I was busy. I mean I was, normally Thursday nights were pretty calm but tonight almost everyone in Riverdale seemed to be here. After I finished my previous order I walked to table four and saw two boys sitting. Somehow one of them looked familiar to me which was impossible because I was sure I hadn't seen him before. "Good evening boys. What can I get you both?" I asked while holding up my notepad. The boy on the right looked up and ordered a chocolate milkshake and a burger. The familiar boy smiled at me. "Good evening, miss Smith, This is Fangs and I'm Kevin. We're friends friends with your daughter Betty. She's helping me with the yearbook. She told me I might bump into you." I raised my eyebrows. "Oh, eh, nice to meet you Kevin." I said, not really knowing what he expected me to say. "I hoped I'd bump into you. We need another chaperon at the dance and I wondered if you would like to fill in that spot. Fred Andrews and Hermione Lodge are also chaperoning." I looked at the other boy. He smiled sheepishly and went through his hair. "It's alright if you don't want to. I can imagine the shifts are taking a toll." He smiled at me a shruged then. "I mean, FP is always dead after his shifts." I raised an eyebrow at him. "You know FP?" I asked. The boy, Fangs, nodded and just as he wanted to say something FP came out of the toilets with a mob. "Fangs? What are you doing here? I thought you and Sweet Pea would be at the party in the Whyte Worm?" Then he looked at me and back at the boys. "I was but then Kevin called to meet up about the musical he's planning and I can't say no the son of the Sheriff." Fangs laughed and Kevin rolled his eyes but chuckled too. I moved my eyes to Kevin. Now I knew why he looked so familiar. He looks a lot like his father. I smiled "Well I guess I can't either. I'll be there, Kevin. I'll ask Betty for any details. Now what's your order?"

The boys had just left as Betty and Jughead just entered Pop's. They sat down in a booth and I noticed something was different. It has been a while since I had seen Jughead but those two just seemed different around each other. FP walked towards them to get their orders as I tried to figure out what seemed different while cleaning the counter. FP walked back and passed the orders to Pop. "Alice, could you make a strawberry milkshake and a chocolate one? Then I can quickly take out the garbage." "Sure." I said while rolling my eyes and I started making the milkshakes. I heard him sigh and walk to the back. When I had finished the milkshakes I already brought them to the table. "Hi, Betty. Jughead. I figured you'd be going crazy for the Homecoming dance tomorrow." She smiled and nodded. "Believe me, mom, I am. But I just needed to get out for a bit and Cheryl and Veronica said they had it under control." She looked at Jughead, just a second, but immediately I knew why they seemed different. I cursed in my head but smiled. "Right, well I hope can relax a bit now because I wouldn't want you to miss homecoming because of a burn-out." "I wouldn't let that happen, miss Smith." Jughead responded and the look was there again. I had to get away so I said I'd get their orders. Quickly I walked into the kitchen and leaned to a counter and sighed loudly. Pop looked up surprised and asked me if I was alright. "I will be, Pop." FP entered the kitchen from outside and asked Pop if the order was ready. "Yes, here you go." He handed the order and FP walked away. "Pop turned off the stove and looked at me. "Tell me what's wrong, Alice. I know something's wrong. You're doing that thing with your mouth when you're worried. You used to do it too when you were a teenager." I sighed and smiled softly. Pop has always been there for me and I could tell everything to him, yet some things I couldn't tell him. "You just always seem to look right through me, huh." Pop laughed and sat down on a chair. "You can always talk to me, Alice. I won't judge you. Not when you got arrested, not when you fought with Penelope Blossom and not when you got pregnant." I took a deep breath and looked up at him. "I am just scared that old mistakes will repeat themselves. And if they do, I'm not sure if I can conquer the consequences again." "Alice, you are one of the strongest persons I know. You can conquer anything. The thing is that you sometimes need to except that you can't always do it on your own and that you sometimes must accept the small pushes. Alice, you should stop running away from your past and face it again. Admit it, you two will always be each other's soulmate." A second later, FP entered. "Alright, they decided to take the food home..." FP blinked as he saw Pop and me sitting. "Eh, did I miss something?" I looked at Pop who gave me a meaningful look. "Just try." Pop whispered before he stood up. "Alright, I'm going home. Can you two lock up?" I nodded. "We will." Pop nodded and gave me a wink before leaving the diner. "Eh, I guess I'll go clean the diner." FP stood up and walked into the diner. I sighed. Pop was right, I wanted nothing more than to have FP back in my life. To have all the lies solved out. It was time to be honest with him. Even though I'd lose him forever, but I knew that we could never happen, not like this. "FP, wait." I leaned against the door post and looked down at my feet as he stopped his tred. Slowly he turned around, his face full of questions. "Can we talk?" I asked. FP raised his eyebrows and nodded. 

We sat down in a booth and I played with one of my rings, trying to build up courage. FP cleared his throat. "So, how have you been?" His voice sounded a bit shaky and I knew he tried to make it sounds like a casual question but we both knew the undertone of it. I sighed sofly and shrugged. "The past twenty-five years, pretty well." I looked up and bit my lip. "I married Hal." FP nodded slowly and his look went to my hands. The sight made him look right back up and frown. "I don't mean to be impolite but are you and Hal divorced? I mean, I don't see a wedding ring." He went through his hair, hich he always did when he was nervous. I gave him a sad smile. "Hal died a couple months ago in a car accident." I sighed and FP gave me his condolences. "It's fine. But that's mainly the reason I got back. Riverdale has always been my second home." FP smirked softly "Your second one? What's the first one then?" I took a deep breath. "You." FP looked at me in surprise and was just speecheless. "Alice..." "It has always been you, FP. I loved Hal but I never loved him like I loved you. And that's why I need to tell you something and you need to promise you will let me finish because I don't think I could ever have the courage to tell you this again. But you deserve this, you even deserved this back then but I was just too angry and a coward. But no more lies, FP, because if I had told you this sooner, maybe things would've been different." The tears were running down my face and FP came to sit next to me and he held me in his arms. His arms felt so safe and secure but I knew that after I would've told him the whole truth, he would hate me and I would never feel his arms around me again but I had to. I couldn't live like this. Seeing him all the time, longing for me as much as I longed for him but knowing the web of all the lies and secret I had created between us. "I'm done running from the truth, FP and you deserve to know everything." I pulled out of his hug and hold my arms up as he tried to pull me back. "No, FP, don't." He sighed but he held his arms with him and looked at me with worry and confusion  in his eyes. "I didn't give our son up for adoption, I kept him. He was the only thing I still had from you and even though I was so angry, I couldn't give him away. I told Hal it was his baby and he believed me. And then you called to apologize but I couldn't tell you the truth. I had given up the idea you'd turn around and I had just gotten my life somewhat back together and I was just so angry and I lied. I felt bad the moment I had put the phone down but I couldn't go back. And I know it's not an excuse for what I did but I just felt abandoned and hurt after you said you couldn't have a baby with me back then. I felt like some toy you were done playing with and you just threw it away. But I should've known better. And it's something I regretted the rest of my life. Something I still regret and will always regret. I didn't realize how much until I saw you back and  I'm just done running away from my past but more specifically from you. I-I...I love you, FP but I totally understand you hate me now and don't want anything to do with me anymore." I took  a deep breath and looked up to his eyes, scared of what I might see. The tears were still running from my faces but I saw FP was crying too. I saw th pain in his eyes and the confusion and anger and I felt even worse. "You...You have kept our son away from me and told Hal it was his?" He looked at me and his voice just cracked. "Do you have any idea how much I hated myself for being such a dick to you that night? I thought I had lost my son forever! For Christ sake, if it wasn't for Fred, I wouldn't even be here!" Shocked I looked at him. "FP...did you..." I whispered but I couldn't finish my sentence because my voice cracked and the tears were overflowing. "Try to kill myself? I did. I drank me into a coma and if Fred hadn't come to look for me, I wouldn't be here anymore." I broke down and curled up in a ball. "I'm sorry FP, I never meant to hurt you. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if you wouldn't be here anymore. I'm such a horrible person. I-I...FUCK!" I slammed the table and just totally broke down. I was so furious with myself. I couldn't believe I almost could've lost him. I couldn't bare the thought that ecause of me, he was almost dead. I had almost killed the one person I loved more than anything in the world."  Suddenly I felt two arms around me who held me very close and I just leaned against the warm body. "I'm really sorry,FP. I wish I could turn back time." FP sighed and gave me a kiss on my head. "I wish we both could. I'm sorry too Alice, if I hadn't reacted like that, this would've been different maybe." I clung onto him as if I was about to lose him all over again. "But then I wouldn't have had Polly and Betty. And you wouldn't have had Jughead. And I wouldn't want to miss my girls." I whispered. I felt a soft smile against my forehead. "I couldn't live without Jughead and Jellybean either." I looked up at him. "Jellybean?" He smiled softly. "I have two kids, Jughead, my oldest, and Jellybean, she's almost eleven." I smiled softly back. Our eyes locked and we got closer. "We'll have a lot of work to do, Alice. But if you're up for it, I'd like to take it step by step. Because we have many wounds that need to heal but I couldn't no I wouldn't want to live without you ever again." FP whispered with his lips almost against mine. I looked him in the eye and said "Me neither, Hal was just my band aid but you're my stitches. I love you, Jonesy." FP smirked "And somehow, I still love you too, Ali." And we kissed.