Kidnapped. (1D Fanfic) EDITING!

My Goodbye letter.

So. This is gonna be such a disappointement, but alot of people are asking me why I'm not updating and updating the blank chapters. First of all, I am very busy. I've had alot of shit into my past, didn't do anything and I've been bullied in school for the whole year.

I have like 17482028 stories to update, NOT literally ofcourse! But a good amount of them. And currently I am not in the state of updating every week all at once. I have had alot on my mind, and a few months back I was very upset because of getting obsessed with Wattpad. I left for awhile, but I can't find the inspiration to write anymore.

Yes, it's sad. And YES I am getting more fucking aggravating by every stupid note I write. I don't know what to do with this story, it's shit. First when I started this, I was a noob with five followers and I never knew people would see this dodo crap of a book. Now, look at it!

I was so happy for all the reads and the likes and the comments, until a few months later I became accustomed to it and saw all the negativity about the swearing and how 'carroty' it was written. Putting me down like that makes me sometimes think that I need to stop doing what I am wanting to do, and just look at myself in the mirror and say "People don't like you."

I tell it myself everyday, and I don't have friends! I get bullied in school by guys and girls who reckon that they are 100x better than me, which is kinda true. I am not a social person, I hide alot because I don't like groups of people surrounding me. It's terrifying, mostly because they whisper around about me too. I am ugly, and people hate me for that.

I wanna be a person too, I wanna meet people too, I wanna be social like others, hilarious, cool, amazing, have friends, laugh with them, socialize...

But I am me. A thing that can't be changed. I can't just change. I can't change anything about how ugly I look, and that will always stay an issue to others. I like writing, because it expresses how I feel and I can make my own characters, give them something that they deserve, that I always wanted to have but something that I never got before.

Fanfiction, I love it. God bless the one who's ever thought about it, because I adore it. I can write about people that I look up to, like One Direction, Misha Collins, Mark Pellegrino, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Tom Wisdom, Roxanne McKee, etc...

I love them, I don't care about how the fuck they look, I just love them so fucking much. Why? Because of what they ever do for their fans. Misha is doing GISHWHES which is a special event to show the wonderful and craziest upcoming art into the entire world + it's for charity! Isn't that just wondeful, how it could just save people with the money we donate to participate, or just animals to rescue?

Then there's One Direction, who makes alot of people happy, mostly girls, but also some guys like my friend Patrick on Wattpad. He loves them, and isn't ashamed to write Fanfiction himself. One Direction has always made some people stop self-harming, and change their lifes, alot of lifes. It's simply amazing to hear that, you know?

Mark Pellegrino stands in front of humanity and defends countries on Twitter, arguing and telling racists to shut the fuck off. He's a wondeful man and actor. He's said he loved people, as if he isn't even human himself! (Duh, he's the Devil!).

Jensen and Jared are just two funny dorks, making people laugh and smile, and you would just totally fall in love with them. I heard that in conventions, Jared loves cuddling when taking pictures and Jensen loves doing stupid things or expressions to make it look funny. They're adorable!

Tom Wisdom and Roxanne Mckee are both two other actor and actress who play in a serie called Dominion, and they reply to alot of their fans on Twitter, but Rox replies mostly unseriously and be the funny crazy nerd that she is as Tom is a serious son of a bitch. I love them both so much as much as the other cast members.

See how many people have succeeded to get loved, because they are doing good things and people love them no matter what. And then, the normal people like fans, just get bullied everyday and do self-harm. Humanity sometimes sickens me for some reason, not always but it does at random times. Any person on the Internet could just begin trolling and start a fight with cyberbullying. I hate it alot. But some just don't understand how a word can hurt the other.

I know you're all bored reading this but, I can't help myself. I just wanna know how you feel about this, how you feel everyday, who you truly are, if you have depressions, pain, sorrow, feeling mad at everything you see...

Because I do. And it's always gonna stay like that, because my life is ruined. I see so many people on the television, happy kids with their parents, mother AND father-meanwhile that's one of my main issues. It makes me cry, because my father left me next to my mom. He said he loved me, as my mom hated him so much. And one day, my mom told me that he didn't wanted to see me anymore and that he gave up for me. Now still these days I am waiting for a message from him, but nothing.

All I have now is three little brothers to care for, which I will and must do.

So, this means you all probably won't see me update anymore at this time. This is gonna make you mad, but I understand. I am just not gonna read the comments about what for shitty author I am to leave you at this. I will miss you all. <3

See you...