VILLAINOUS LEMONS/FLUFFS! (Various Ships)

JOLLY POISON (Black HatxFlug) SMUT

"Two... Drops..."

A green liquid escaped from the pitcher and into a sea of coffee. Flug wiped the sweat from his bag, then glanced at the already-melting pitcher. He discarded it along with the highly toxic poison. After doing so, he removed his extra layer of gloves. The doctor held the dark china with two hands and carefully handed it to the uneasy bear beside him.

5.0.5 cautiously sniffed it, feeling his nose ready to fall off into the hot liquid he held. Flug waved him away before pouring himself a mug of coffee.

"Just don't drop it. God, don't drop it," he whispered to himself. This was a daily ritual. Black Hat's absurd want for poison, or any type of acid in his drinks had always put him and 5.0.5 on edge. The constant fear of getting any on your skin/fur was enough to make you tremble and make it harder not to spill while pouring. He sighed when he heard 5.0.5's screech. It was successfully delivered and no one was hurt. Again.

Don't even get started on him downing bottles of it on the daily. It didn't scare Flug, but it's like when Demencia ingests thirteen bathbombs in a row. She thinks it'll make her insides sparkle and justifies it by rubbing the bath bomb on her skin. Yes, it leaves a sparkle, but there's no way it'd make your inards shine. It horrified him to even think about doing an autopsy on her. The amount of crap he'd find lodged in her would rattle his core. How she's still alive? Flug couldn't even begin to comprehend it.

He found himself in his lab, and his coffee mug empty. A wave of disappointment washed over him. His addiction to coffee was just like Black Hat's poison addiction. He felt like a hypocrite.

Flug sat down the mug and decided against getting another fill of the dark liquid. It was an attempt at restraining himself. A bad one, because he got a cup only moments later.

He sipped on his coffee while hanging out in his lab, reading over his blueprints. Business had been slow lately because it was almost Christmas. Regardless of how evil you were, there wasn't a reason not to be just a little in the spirit. Black Hat even began to wear his classic holiday hat.

Gift giving was cool and all... but Flug never got anything special. He didn't understand why, because everyone else in the manor got something good. Black Hat got gifts from Demencia, he bought weapons for her, and Flug gave 5.0.5 toys. Demencia's idea of a gift to Flug was a homemade bracelet. It was cute, but it wasn't as much as an expensive plane model. The value didn't mean anything, he knew that... but he just wanted a little more. Flug sighed to himself. Was he being greedy?

"Flug! Flug!" Demencia rapped the door with her fist. The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose through the bag he wore, "What?"

"Me and the bear are gonna go Christmas shopping today! Wanna come?"

He mulled on the request.

"...ok."

Demencia's footsteps became faint as she left his door. This year, he was going to set up secret santa. They'd put their names in a bowl or hat, and draw them. Whosever name they got, is who they'd buy for.

...

"...are you just gonna stare at it?"

Flug shook his head, coming back to consciousness. Demencia had been waving a hand in front of his face. He slapped it away and shot her a look. The doctor eyed the suit before him.

"He'd really like that. I know his tastes!~" She piped up from beside him. He rolled his eyes. Of course she did.

"Do you know his size, too?" Flug asked her while pulling on the sleeve of the carmine suit.

She hummed and tapped the side of her head, thinking, "He isn't a big guy. Well... he's pretty tall, so make sure the bottoms are long enough. Think about getting a matching vest too."