Way To Live [Josh Raven] (English Version)

Chapter 8

I would like to talk with him, I would like to know what's bothering him but honestly I don't how this is going to end and I don't wanna argue. Also I have to meet Rob and Stevie.

– Right now I can't, maybe latter. – I start walking towards Rob, he's walking towards me with Stevie but Josh stops me grabbing my wrist. I sigh and turn around.

– Please. – I signal him that Rob and Stevie are waiting for me at the door.

– Whatever you want to talk about can wait. They're waiting for me. – He nods and lets go of my wrist.

I try not to overthinking it. I try not to think about what Josh has to tell me, I don't want to feel guilty about it but I don't know what I did wrong, I just don't like seeing Josh upset and I don't even know why.

Once I'm with Rob and Stevie we get out of the venue and walk to a shop where we can buy food for everyone. They walk and talk on their own, I'm not even paying attention to it. I'm lost in my head, looking at my surroundings, people walking past me next to their families or friends. They look happy but I'm not. I am happy but my head always ends up tricking me. The worst thing is that this is not about me, is about Josh.

– Marchis. – I hear my name but I don't know why I don't answer. I'm still trapped in my head. When I realize we've arrived to the shop. I'm not even sure when I stopped paying attention to my surroundings. – Marchis. – I hear again. It's Rob.

– What?

– Are you okay? – It's Stevie who's asking. I nod. – It looked like you where in another world.

– I'm okay Stevie, it's just that I was on my own world, nothing else.

– Okay, let's buy everything we need.

I still have the bag with food that Josh bought me but I left it on the hotel, which I'm thankful for, because of it I could go on a walk. I get in and without even looking for it I find the Gluten Free aisle. I grab a sandwich, some chips and fruit. Rob and Stevie are in charge of everyone else food so I go pay for mine. I remember that Val was waiting for a call. I don't know if I should call her now, I don't want to tell her what's going on but I need to talk to her, so I call her.

–Hi! – I smile.

–Hello.

– Are you okay?

– Yes. I'm waiting for Rob and Stevie. We're out buying food. – I show her where I am.

– I wish I could be there with you.

– I wish that too.

– Now tell me, what's going on? – I knew she would know something was up just by looking at me, in the end she's my best friend.

– It's Josh. We went out this morning and I don't know what happened, he was upset about something and he didn't tell me why.

– That's why you're upset? –I nod. – Well talk to him, why are you so worried anyways?

– I'm not worried is that...

– Your face speaks for itself. – She interrupts me. – I know you. You forget you're my best friend.

– I'm not forgetting it. – I hear Rob and Stevie walking towards me. – We're going back to the venue, we'll talk later. – I hang up, not letting her say goodbye because I already know what she's about to say and honestly I don't want Rob and Stevie to know what's up.

– You have everything? – I nod. – Good, let's go back.

We walk back to the venue but now I'm taking part on the conversation.

– Josh is acting weird, isn't he? – It's Stevie who's asking. I prefer not answering. We're really taking this far and it's not going anywhere. – I mean, on the way here he was very quiet and he was being weird on the venue.

– He might not sleep enough.

– You know that even if he doesn't sleep enough he'll be full of energy. Do you know what's up with him, Marchis?

– Why would I know?

– I don't know, you both spent a lot of time together lately.

– Don't get ahead of yourself. If you're so interested just ask him.

We get to the venue and I realize I was rude to Stevie so I apologize to him. Today's not my day.

– It's okay, I guess we're all tired and a bit stressed, you in particular because you got on a plane being freaked out by them.

– That's not an excuse, I really am sorry.

– It's okay. Just go rest and eat. – I nod.

I make my way to the backstage in hopes of not running into Josh. I hate feeling this way and not knowing why.

“Maybe you do but you're trying to ignore it.”

It's my head talking but I try not to think about it.

I find a room and I sit there to have lunch while I read my Instagram messages.

I think it's time to talk to Josh and get this over with. I still don't know what I did but I feel it's my job to talk to him and know what happened, I would like to know what he has to say.

I don't even finish my lunch when I'm on my way to find him.

He's talking to one of the tech guys so I wait till he's done, I don't want to interrupt them.

“Or maybe you're just looking for excuses and making this last.”

Sometimes my head reminds me of Val. She constantly tells me what she would say if she was here. Josh sees me and he talks to the tech guy again before getting off the stage. Once he's right in front of me he doesn't say anything so I start talking.

– Everything okay? – I don't know what he was talking about with the tech.

– Yeah. – Are we even talking about the same thing? – Are you free now? – I nod. – Great, so can we talk now?

– Yes.

He starts walking I don't even know why. I guess I should follow him so I walk behind him. None of us are talking. We make it to a small patio, pretty far away from everyone. I didn't think we would needed to be so intimate to talk about what he had to tell me.

– So?

– About today morning... Can we let it go? Forget about it?

– I don't know what happened this morning. We were okay and suddenly you got upset, even Stevie noticed it.

– Stevie asked?

– Yeah, and he assumed I knew what was up so that's why he asked. Obviously I told him I didn't know what was up with you, because I really don't. I don't understand your reaction and I can't help but think that it's about something I said but I don't know.

– It's not about something you said, everything's okay, I promise. Just stop thinking about it.

I guess I should really stop thinking about it for good. Maybe I should forget about it like he said. I would like to do that but I care for Josh. I know it's too early, we just met, but I want him to know he can count on me. Anyways, I'll let this go and start focusing on my job, I don't want to stress him. Why would he count on me having his friends?

– It's okay.