NANA

사생팬 (2)

~In which Nana tells the story~

Nana shivered, despite the three blankets that smothered her. She stared at the wall, unblinking, with red eyes and dried tears. She was sitting in the station which had become familiar to her in the last few hours. There was always someone with her, usually seven, making sure that she was okay and wouldn't do anything drastic. Survivors were prone to dangerous thoughts.

Why me?

Again?

She curled up on herself on the uncomfortably scratchy couch in the office. When she had first come out, she had craved the touch of others, specifically the ones she knew loved her. Now, she had retracted back into herself, refusing to even let the others near her. It was as if she had regressed back into the young girl they had met, rather than the one who had grown up beside them.

Hoseok sighed on the chair across from her, which was the closest he was allowed. He attempted to talk to her for the thousandth time.

"Na, honey, please. It's easier to get through this if you talk about it. If you don't want to talk to me, then you can talk to anyone else. Just speak," he pleaded.

Taehyung, on his left, didn't bother with words he knew would fall on deaf ears. He merely looked at her with those childlike eyes. She looked away.

Namjoon and Jin, sitting on the floor at the edge of the couch, couldn't bring themselves to push for anything. It obviously hurt her to even think of it, and so they stayed quiet.

Jungkook, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wooden desk, whispered, "Hey, whenever you're ready, just know we're here for you and always will be." This made her eyes focus a little bit and her lip started to quiver slightly.

On Hoseok's right was Jimin, perched on the edge of the chair. He was still crying quietly, although the steady stream had reduced to a light trickle. Watching him cry in front of the others made Nana's lip wobble even more.

Yoongi was closer than the others, managing to ignore her and push his way through her defenses. He was sitting next to her on the couch, about a foot away from her. He got up, sat next to her, and pulled her into his arms without speaking a word. She couldn't even muster up the strength to push him away as she was automatically conditioned to do. He was never good at comforting people with words, but he did well without them. 

With that, she completely broke down. This wasn't like before when she had just been rescued. She was crying then out of relief and terror without having the time to really register everything. Now, however, she had replayed the entire thing in her head a million times and finally realized the true horror of it all. 

They had never heard something so raw in their lives. Her wails were like nails on a chalkboard; the tears rushing down her face as if they'd never stop. She gripped tightly onto Yoongi as if he was the only thing keeping her grounded. He rubbed small circles into her back with his hand in rhythmic motions to help calm her down. Down his cheeks were two straight lines of moisture. 

Some of the others couldn't bear to watch, but it was like something was keeping their eyes locked on her. Namjoon was just relieved that she was finally reacting, rather than staying the emotionless statue she had been.

Once she had calmed down enough to where the wails had become hiccups and the waterfalls had become streams, Yoongi soothingly asked her the burning question everybody had: what exactly happened in there?

She gathered herself, shooting a look at Hoseok, who had reminded her that speaking was for her own good. It was easier to let it all out than bottle it up. Eventually, she would explode. She had learned this the hard way.