Organs, but with Pasta

UNO

I spent a lot of time in a bubble growing up. A secure, omnipotent and perpetual bubble that fits my size perfectly.
And because I was always stuck inside it, I ended up gaining mixed feelings towards my surroundings, and there are so many factors that tell me otherwise. Everything I come across had left me stacking doubt over doubt on it and I could not form a straight view on whatever the thing could ever be. It is like I am shielded from the reality and forced to be kept inside a fixed mindset. And it is all because of this bubble, it is a capsule.

I grew up in average circumstances. Living in an average home in the middle of a beautiful town, with at least eight people whom I can say I trust and love very much. I spend as much time in my entire life with them. They are all kind and caring to me and I always return the feelings but, since we all live a very different lifestyle than everyone else, living a life can be quite... hard.

Because those people who I care about, my family, they went through a lot of hardships living their own life and I was raised and taught to always listen to them because they know what is right. They know what is wrong. They know what to do and they are in hopes of me catching up to their level of knowledge and want me to absorb their opinions and views so I will grow up to live with a mindset like theirs.

The mindset that keeps us safe. The mindset that guards us from any accessible danger that could disrupt our way of living. Willingly.

And I guess I could say that I am confused. It's just that my family happens to 'over do' things. They exaggerate something that may be seemingly dangerous when really it isn't. Yet they are very overprotective, and I am not sure if what is considered to be true.

And by living in a society brimming with the solution, I do feel as though, that, maybe they are wrong.
Maybe they need to rethink this through.

I kept considering something they've stated strongly for a longer while now, but it is like my close family is biased. It's a strong word but maybe they are...

The best way I can describe my situation is that it feels as though I gathered all my opinions and views of what I believe to be the reality of the outside world. Painful and ignoring. And with this, I went inside a bubble to stay in it forever and grow in it, but as the outside world changes over time, so does the reality, giving away new opinions and views as it appears to be positive. And I see this change happening around me and I feel like maybe what I thought was wrong so I proceed to also change.

But I can't. Because of this bubble. And my original thoughts I brought with it. And I'm confused and so lost.
I don't know where to go. I don't know what to think. So my initiative is just to keep quiet. Maybe things are better off the way they are at present.

After all, I am safe. It's not like I could end up being one with the dust just for coming up with an in-depth analysis about my problems. I just wish there's more to life than being over-protected.

Wow.
It is clear as night to note that that bright white moon above me must be staring down in disppointement, but I wouldn't blame it.
I could be doing anything right now. Anything out there the world has to offer be it dangerous or not. But instead here I am, overthinking about how my life's turning inside out, hoping everything can just shut up for a while and give me time to breathe. And I'm not a selfish person, or at least that's not what I think I am. It can be hard, to go through things that you don't want to, to be told rules that just exist and can't be explained, and to have responsibilities that are handled with strict regulations. And worse, to be a child.

But I will have to wait, and see what happens in the meantime. No other choice here, but to wonder.

Yep, that moon is definitely not happy with me. Its bright white, circular blank surface has not a single bit of a recognisable facial feature, yet it can show feeling like any other creature. Like a face in the sky following your every move. I wonder what it wants.

What are you doing? Signore Moon might be saying. Everyone is probably waiting for you at the pizzeria in the Piazza Bra.

"Yeah I know, but a heavy thought has come up and I just want to think things through for a bit.", I said out loud to myself like a deranged lunatic but who cares? Nobody is around, wait.
I doubled checked by turning my head around. Nothing but rooves, power lines and the night sky in sight. Great now I can keep up the conversation. "It's something I do often.", I added.

Then does that give a logical explanation as to why you are on a rooftop and not on ground?

Moon was right. I am indeed on a bumpy rooftop with a nice view of my town all around me. I don't know who's rooftop this is but I took a mental note to be quiet.
"Yeah, I just like to go on high places when I want to be alone. It gives off nice views. And depending on what I feel afterwards it makes me feel not lonely. You know? Maybe you should try it out sometime Signore Moon."

Moon rolled its non existent eyes.
What even is there to see or feel down there up there?

I paused for a moment to think of an answer.
"A lot actually.", I said as I looked ahead. My mouth curved into a slight smile at what I saw before briefly describing it.
"I can see silhouettes and dim lights of the towers at a distance, the Torrei dei Lamberti is the most recognisable one because of its white and cream stripes. And as it is night, all the streetlights and night lights all around omit this yellowish-golden glow. With it you can make out streets and buildings and homes and the balconies stuck to them and these buildings seem to go on forever as shown by the stream of lights at the horizon but it doesn't. It's just prespective's way of showing how smaller things can get. You can even see lights beside a canal of water which is the River Adige itself. And behind all that, there's the starry sky. "

I paused again, hoping what I said made sense.

"I always like to come up here, because with a view like this, it gives me time to think about anything really. Night is like the only time it gives off those vibes you know? Especially when you're in my field of vision."

Ah said Moon. That was extremely cheesy. But I am afraid that I can not relate. After all I am the moon it chimed. Of all the places I can see from all over the dark side of the Earth, I happen to stumble into you and your town. Besides, the view is even better from up here so ha.

I rolled my eyes this time.

Well, whatever you are up to can wait. I hope you did not forget that you have responsibilities. "You know who" will start worrying again.

"Oh." The fact that I realised I have things to take care of came in like a direct slap in the face. "Yeah, fair point. I should get to the pizzeria actually. Thanks for reminding me, I guess I'll talk to you later. I don't want to stir up trouble again."

It was nice talking to you too Tess. Now go.

And with that, I stood up, moved my strands of hair in front of my face to the back of my ear, stretched my limbs while grunting in the process and fixed myself up by patting the dust off my black coat, skirt and white stockings. I then proceeded to go down this building. I had the choice of either jumping down from balcony to balcony like a regular person, except thinking about it, regular people won't even be on top of rooves but still I wasn't feeling like it. Instead I jumped off the roof and used my ability to descend in a mild pace with my arms raised and looking down. The windows and balconies moving up past me, and the air moving a bit in my ears. If anyone where to see me they would be both very amazed and stunned.

I kept going down until I my shoes made a clunking sound as they met the solid pavement. With all of that being done, I saluted to the night sky above me and went to follow the River Adige to get to the Piazza Bra where I will be needed in my famiglia's pizzeria.