"I may be small but I am too big to live on someone's charity"-Hazel Ryder
"This is not sympathy because I don't sympathize with anyone."-Evan Thomson
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Living in the poor neighborhood, where everywhere you look at, the only things you can see a...
Author's note: First of all, I want to apologize for the long delay. I was caught up in my board exams and practical exams because of which I did not get the time. But now that it's over, i am back on wattpad. So, please, enjoy this chapter. Thank you.
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I have been hurt before. My heart has been broken several of times before. Lots of time. But, never had I been hurt so much that I had almost forgotten to breathe. Never had anyone broken my heart so brutally that had almost destroyed my will to live. And, my aching heart aches even more with every second that I think of the person responsible for the hurt that's been gnawing my insides to the point where I can't differentiate what hurts more—his relapse, his pain or his cowardice. It hurts even more that the one person I thought would never hurt me is actually the reason behind my tears which I cannot stop since the moment Evan walked through the door, drunk and stoned.
I have always tried to be a good person, always tried to do right by others then why it is always me who ends up getting the most excruciating pain just when everything seemed to be perfect. Why me? Why is it always had to be me? Am I that of an unlucky person that I don't deserve any happiness?
One moment, Evan was about to propose me and the next, he is drunk and stoned, buried in his own world where I don't think there is place for anyone. Not even me. And, I am not sure if I will be able to find my Evan this time.
Evan is sprawled on the sofa in the living room where he passed out immediately after he came home the other night. Connor offered to stay with me, just in case but I simply declined. This is not something I want anyone to see. His state is already breaking me. I don't want anyone else see me break down even more than I already am. So, I asked him to go. I don't remember when morning came or how I spent all night. But, when I opened my eyes this morning, Evan was still passed out on the couch and I, on the floor.
People say if you behave normal, eventually everything will be normal back again. So, I try to act normal. I get up, take a long hot shower, then have some breakfast. I even make some pancakes, Evan's favorite even though I know it is long before he wakes up with the state he seems to be in. Next, I clean the house. With everything, I have been neglecting everything. So, I take this time to make everything right. I clean each and every room, kitchen, bathroom and every possible space in the whole house. Evan does not even blink, sleeping through all the noise of vacuuming. Then, I go out to clean the lawn and porch area.
It is late in the evening when I am finished. But, when I walk back in the house, Evan is awake. The sofa is empty and I hear noises from inside our bedroom.
All the act of normalcy I have been keeping up flies away in an instant as I hear his footsteps coming from inside the bedroom. I am standing outside, hand paused on the door knob as I prepare myself mentally for the scene I am about to see. Is he smoking again? Is he drinking? Is he taking drugs?