"I may be small but I am too big to live on someone's charity"-Hazel Ryder
"This is not sympathy because I don't sympathize with anyone."-Evan Thomson
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Living in the poor neighborhood, where everywhere you look at, the only things you can see a...
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When you are experiencing something new for the first time, what should you do?
Should you confront it or just bail on it as fast as possible?
The things I felt and saw at St. Josephine Orphanage has left millions of swirling thoughts and questions unanswered, and who knows, if there's an answer to it at all. I couldn't figure out the things happening to me which is why after Evan and I got back home, I called it a night and went straight to my room to mull over my own stupid, irrational thoughts, haunting me throughout the whole day.
My thought was if I sleep on it, everything will be okay and would be just the way it was before. Boy, was I wrong?
The next morning, as I woke up and went to take a shower—and because there is only one bathroom in the house, just as I was outside, Evan came out of it, shirtless, hair all wet and beads of water running down his lean but impressive body. It was all I could do to not drool over it.
I have seen him shirtless before, number of times on many occasions but I never reacted this way. I never felt the urge to stare at his body or felt the rush of emotion to....touch him that way. The feeling left me hot, whether with need or shame, I don't know but before he could sense it, I dashed into the bathroom.
Taking a long, relaxing shower and calming my mind, I emerged out only to find out that Martha had invited a few of her friends over to lunch to meet Evan and me. I was glad because guests meant distractions and distraction is what I need right now.
"Here, let me help you with the dishes." I offer, taking the plate off of Martha's hand, and carry it outside to the small backyard where all the guests were sitting , grilling Evan with questions which I am pretty sure he is not interested even a little bit. But, he is smiling and answering every single question they were asking just for his grandparent's sake.
"So, when are you thinking about settling down?" Linda, one of Martha's friends asks him.
"Not anytime." He answers, patiently.
"Do you have a girlfriend then?" Ruth, another guest asks.
"No."
"Do you at least have someone in your mind who can be your girlfriend?"
My heart actually skips a beat when my eyes connect with Evan exactly at this point. I avert my gaze away and sit next to Harold.
Evan is silent for few seconds, then: "Maybe," answers he, accelerating my heartbeat all of a sudden as once again our eyes connect.
When I am going back inside, I smile at him, encouraging him to keep doing what he is doing to which he just answers with a boring roll of his eyes. Maybe, he said maybe, what can it mean? Does this mean he likes someone? Who can it be? Do I know her? For some unknown reason, the thought of Evan with someone else sends a chill down my spine, like someone had thrown a bucket full of ice cold water on me. What the hell is this feeling and why isn't it going away?
