Apprentice (Bradley Simpson Fanfic)

thirty one

Brad’s POV

It breaks my heart knowing that I’ve hurt her, that I’ve made her cry. We still haven’t spoken, the text she sent me at the airport made me realise the extreme damage I’ve caused. The boys are all treating me different; they’re disappointed I can tell. Tristan’s the only one I’ve got on my side and now that Angie’s here he’s gone aswell. I’m completely alone and all I want is to be with Bella again, I want to wrap my arms around her waist, kiss her forehead and tell her everything is back to normal. I know this isn’t going to happen anytime soon, I completely understand why she wont talk to me, I honestly don’t know why I did what I did. There are no excuses that could make up for the actions. All I want is to talk to her and tell her I love her.

Every time she looks at me, I can see the hurt in her eyes, she looks at me so differently, so full of hatred and anger; a way I never thought she would look at me, but I know if it was the other way around I’d be broken inside. I’m not trying to take the blame off of myself, but everyone is acting like Olivia had nothing to do with this, no one heard the conversation in the bathroom. She’s manipulative and sly, she knew the state I was in and took advantage, telling me Bella doesn’t love me, that it’s all a lie. I shouldn’t have believed her, I know that, but being drunk changes the situation. The only thing that made me smile since it happened was seeing how happy Bella was at Tris and Ange’s reunion, there was actually happiness in her eyes, you could see how much she cared.

The drive to the new hotel was silent, except for the quiet conversation between Tris and Angie in between kisses. I have my headphones, but I’m not listening to anything, I don’t want to listen to anything except her, but she’s not talking either. I can see her spinning her phone around in her hands, she’s uneasy and fidgety next to me, making me feel as though she’s uncomfortable and just wants to leave. I don’t want her to feel like that around me, I cant think of anything worse than the girl who I’m completely in love with feeling uncomfortable around me. Only a few days ago she was sitting makeup free, in joggers and a t-shirt in front of me, her hair not done, completely natural and comfy. Everything’s changed so rapidly. As we continue driving conversation picks up, I see a hand reach over and tap Bella on the shoulder, the first time someone’s attempted to speak to her since it happened. She slowly takes her headphones out and glances over her shoulder, trying to give a half smile, but it’s completely forced.

‘Angie, Shay and I are staying in my room tonight if you want to join.’ Charlie asks smiling at Bella. She smiles back, more real this time.

‘Sounds great, I’ll be there. Can we get pizza, I’m dying for some crap food.’ She giggles. Her laugh cuts right through me, it used to be me that made her smile and laugh like that, I could cheer her up no matter what mood she was in. I stare out the window in an attempt to no cry, the talking stops and we eventually arrive at the hotel. Everyone piles out grabbing their suitcases, Bella’s is on top of mine and so I pull it out of the car first, handing it to her. She looks up at me, giving me a small thanks before turning in the opposite direction. I don’t know how much more I can take of this and it’s only been one day.

I’m not going to let this continue, I’m going to speak to her whether she’s ready or not, she has to know that it was a mistake and that she’s all I care about, I don’t know how much she’ll believe, but I have to try right? We all separate and head to our rooms, when I get to mine I dump my bag and get my phone. I leave the door on latch in case Joe needs to see me in the next few minutes.

To: Bella

Okay, I know you don’t want to talk but I cant deal with this awkward tension and atmosphere. I cant deal with not talking to you and having to just glance at you, I cant deal with not being able to touch you or kiss you or be the one to make you laugh. If you give me some time to explain myself and prove that I can make it up to you then I would be so grateful. I miss you Bella and it’s only been one day, I cant take this any longer please. I love you.