bisexual? garrett watts au (completed)

a couple minutes later (tw;)

"what the fuck?" I stood up and looked at Shane and Garrett. 

"i have no idea what Ryland is even talking about, me and Garrett have not fucked.." Shane looked hurt and confused, looking back and forth between Garrett and Ryland.

"okay, no, y'all haven't. Garrett hasn't slept with another girl either, but he has kissed Shane and I saw him kiss another girl, i have no idea if he actually slept with her."

"Where the fuck is this even coming from Ryland?" I yelled at him. "Of course Garrett and Shane have kissed before, remember, they tried to DATE one time and it just didn't work out?" 

"Calm down Astrid--" Garrett started, but I whipped myself around to look at him. "Don't tell me to calm down Garrett, you haven't even denied kissing another girl! Can someone please explain all of this?"

Ryland stared at me with hatred. I could feel it in my veins. 

"I've been hearing you get up and exercise almost every night and i feel sorry for your fat ass that you can't get it together and i kept this whole thing a secret for YOUR sake, and you're pissed off at me?" Ryland screamed.

i looked around at them, and the last couple of months flashed through my head. i had been getting better, but now it seemed like everything was going down the drain

for the first time in months i thought of my mother

i thought of my lack of sleep

i thought of everything wrong with me

Garrett looked hurt, i had told him i was getting better with the exercising, but i wasn't. i was getting worse.

by then, i was to tears, i slapped Ryland  across the face, running to my room

how dare he?

i realized just then that my anxiety and depression hadn't affected me since i started dating Garrett, and i was thankful, but i still didn't understand why he didn't try to defend himself when Ryland came out with the accusations. 

i locked the door, walking to the bathroom and looking myself in the mirror. 

fat ass

ugly

stupid

how could he love you? he cheated on you with another girl.

Ryland was right 

bad thoughts came into my head as i stared at myself in the mirror. all the thoughts i haven't had this last six months were definitely in my head now. 

Ryland's words kept circling in my head along with my own, and finally, I caved.

I grabbed the sleeping pills and turned off the lights in the bathroom.

all i could see was darkness.

(417 words)