Indigo // BTS Mafia AU

Fifty Three

My head hurt, badly. It was like someone had shot me right between the eyes.

But I knew my stomach had been the target.

I was amazed I was still breathing; I should be dead. But somehow the boys got me here in time, and Hoseok and Jin performed a miracle.

When I first woke up I was alone, but that was short lived. As if he sensed it, Namjoon entered the room. He was carrying a water bottle and dropped it at the sight of me, eyes open and conscious.

"Hi Joonie," I smile at his. "Is that water on the floor or are you excited to see me," I make a bladder joke to lighten the mood.

I'm surprised that he doesn't slip when he runs over the water and jumps onto the bed. I groan loudly when he lands on top of me, crushing me in his embrace and immediately sending pain straight to my abdomen.

"Up, Up," I urge him and he quickly gets up, sitting himself down on the edge of the bed, looking down at me with tears in his eyes.

"You're okay," he whispers, cupping my face in his hands. I smile up at him and place my hands over his own, rubbing my thumbs along the back of them.

"I'm okay," I repeat after him. He sniffles and removes one of his hands from my cheek to wipe his eyes. I could tell he was doubting he would see me open my eyes again. "What did I miss?" I ask once he's done calming himself down.

"Nothing much," Namjoon shrugs. "Just a lot of chaos and worry," he chuckles. "Oh," he remembers something suddenly. "We made sure, Luke is dead."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding then. It was like a huge weight had lifted off my shoulders. I was free, free from him, free from that part of my life.

I didn't have to be afraid of anything anymore.

"I'm glad you're here," I grab Namjoons hand, pulling it to me and giving it a squeeze. "I wouldn't want anyone else to be the first one I saw."

"Not even Jungkook?" A smirk works it's way onto his lips and I cant help the blush that blooms across my cheeks.

"No," I admit, and I was telling the truth. As much as yes, seeing Jungkook first would have been nice, nothing could beat the love I felt for Namjoon, not even Jungkook. "I'm happy it's you."

At that Namjoon pulls his hand back with mine intertwined and kisses the top of my hand, a big smile on his face. It only makes me smile even wider.

"I should probably tell the others," he sighs. "They're all wrecked with worry." I nod, not wanting our moment to end but wanting to end the others suffering. They deserved to know.

"Before you tell everyone," I bite my lip. "I know I just said that I only want you but I think Jungkook and I have some catching up to do," I admit, feeling my pulse quicken at just the mention. It wasn't like anything had changed to my knowledge. We still felt the same way about each other, but a lot happened since that revelation, and still, no words were said.

"Yeah, he's in the room over actually," Namjoon stands up, nodding his head at the door. My heart sinks at the thought. I had completely forgotten that he had been injured, and badly at that. "I'll tell him," He bends down and kisses the top of my head. "Love you."

"Love you too," I smile as he exits the room.

When I'm alone again I sniffle a little, feeling warmth spread over me.

I was alive.

That was still a shock to me, even after speaking to Namjoon. I just couldn't believe it. And while I felt happiness, there was a shred of guilt, etched in there as well.