Letters to Isabella

sixteen.

Ross' POV

"So." I began with a smirk.

Rocky was sitting across from me at the kitchen table with an exhausted smile on his face. It was around three o'clock in the morning and neither of us were able to sleep so we'd decided to stay up and have a little chat instead; or more specifically a little chat about Rocky and Trisha's date.

"Did you have a good night?" I asked, my eyes were wide and a grin was growing even further across my lips.

Rocky chuckled nervously to himself. His once slicked back hair was now tousled and greasy from all the gel he'd applied to it and his suit from earlier had now been exchanged for a pair of old blue pyjamas that I honestly hadn't seen on him since his twelfth birthday. "It was good." He murmured, his gaze fixated at the table beneath us. "The kids enjoyed."

"I'm glad." I replied, grinning from ear to ear again. I handed him a small glass and poured some warm whisky into it before doing the same for myself. I took a sip from my drink and placed the glass heavily back down onto the table. I cupped my hands beneath my chin and intriguingly gazed up at my older brother. "I know a little secret about you."

Rocky slowly raised his eyebrows up at me and shrugged his shoulders. "Okay." He chuckled, taking a careful sip from his whisky. "What is this little secret that you know so much about?"

"You're in love with Trisha." I declared. I'll admit, that was a little forward but hey, that was the only way to get my answer. I watched as Rocky's face fell into a frown. "Oh shit. You aren't? Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have listened to Laura when she encouraged me to ship you guys!"

Rocky smiled wearily to himself and began to stir his liquor around in his glass before exhaling and turning to face me. "I think that the term love is a little strong in this situation, Ross."

I frowned. "How? It's easy to know when you love someone. Your stomach gets all queasy and every love song you listen to begins to remind you of that person."

He bit his lip. "Maybe it's easy for you, Ross but it's not easy for everyone."

"I'm sorry man." I murmured, realising that I may have been coming off a little stronger than I'd originally intended to. I gently stroked the back of his hand with my thumb and sighed into the quiet space between us. "I just really want you to be happy again... you know after all that stuff with Bri, I -"

"It's okay bro." Rocky murmured. He was quick to cut me off, but I could completely understand why. He gulped the rest of his whisky down and quickly poured himself another glass.

I'd never seen Rocky in such a strange mood before. I began to worry. After all, I didn't want to make him feel emotional or confused. He'd felt enough of that lately.

"Here's the thing." He gruffly explained, laying the both of his hands out on the table below us. "Trisha is — well, she's my idea of a perfect girl. She has all of the qualities that I love. She's beautiful, caring, empathetic, selfless, funny in her own cute, strange way and this small part of me is so desperate to love her — to let her in." He sighed and shook his head, taking another gulp from his whisky. He glanced back up at me with sadness in his dark brown eyes. "But I can't. I just can't."

I shook my head slowly. I couldn't find the urge to speak let alone console him. I could feel the pain in his voice as he spoke. It was killing me.