All I want.

09

              

         I was running, crying and screaming as he chased me. My legs pumped as fast as they would go, but he was faster. My heart was beating out of my chest as I hid around a tree only to meet him in the middle. "You really didn't think you'd get away this time?" He laughed grabbing my hair, dragging me.

I was screaming as sweat poured off of me my hair was stuck to my forehead.
"Addi Addi it's just a dream wake up" I could feel Oliver by my side, and I could hear the panic in his voice. I sat up straight in the bed, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Olly he got me again he got me" I bawled into his chest. "Shhhhh I've got you" he brushed my hair off my forehead so he could see my eyes. "Addi listen to me it was just a dream."

My breathing slowed as Olly leaned back onto my bed and allowed me to lay on him. He rubbed small circles on my back to calm me. I started to doze off and Oliver moves to get up.

"Olly please stay with me"

"ok"

"okay"

In the morning I woke up to Olly laying under me. I sat upright in the bed and looked down at Olly who was asleep, I smiled at him remembering that he stayed with me.

I creeped off the bed but I saw Ollys' eye crack open and a sly smile play across his lips. In one quick motion Olly grabbed me by my waist and pulled me back into bed with him.

After a while of laying in silence I sighed
" we have to go get Matt up he has to be on a schedule"

"3..2..1" Olly counted down, and right as he got to one Matt started to cry. My mouth was gaped wide as he got out of bed "I cannot believe you...how did you..?..... what on earth!?" I exclaimed as he walked out the door smiling.

Later in the morning I went downstairs after I got myself dressed. Oliver was down stairs playing with Matt in the floor on a blanket.

"Hi love." Oliver smiles, glancing over his shoulder.
"Hi"
"You wanna go get breakfast?"
"Mhhhhmmm" I hummed picking up Matt from in front of Olly.

I walked happily upstairs with the little boy in my arm and he sent me a gum-filled smile as I got him changed for the chilly weather. Olly came in behind me and stood a small distance away.

"What are you looking at you goober" I laughed placing Matt on my hip and turning to face him.
Olly smiled, " I'm looking at y'all goobers". He kissed me and Matt on the cheek and then took Matt from my arms and placed him in the car seat.

The drive consisted of me talking to Matt in the rear view mirror while Olly drove and smiled in amusement. We chose to go to our favorite place, iHop. Olly loves pancakes, and so do I it's a shared passion.

While we eat Matt plays happily with my left hand while I use my right to eat. After we finish the most amazing pancakes on earth we split the bill and we decide since it's about 2 weeks from Christmas, to get a tree.

While Oliver drives I search on my phone for places we can get them. Finally I find a good place and I use google maps to get us there. It would be about an hour drive but it would be worth it to be with him.

The long road trip consist of me having to climb in the back seat to feed Matt, the crawling back to the front. Singing along to my favorite songs with Olly who was laughing. When the car fell silent I heard the song that came on next.

"What would I do without your smart mouth, drawing me in but you kicking me out. You got my head spinning, don't know what hit me. I can't bring you down. Whats going on that beautiful mind. I'm on your magical mystery ride. And I'm so dizzy don't know what hit me but I'll be alright. My heads under water but I'm breathing fine. Your crazy and I'm out of my mind. Cuz' all of me loves all of you..."

Olly's hand reaches over to my lap and holds my hand. He starts to sing along, smiling and glancing at me sometimes.

Once the song was over I smiled and squeezed his hand. I looked in the back seat and Matt was asleep. I smiled at the little boy.

"You know I haven't heard from my sister in weeks" Olly sighed. "It's okay" I smiled.

"How is it okay Addi, two college kids taking care of a baby before long he is going to start calling us mommy and daddy and we aren't his parents." He said in frustration, his forehead knitted with concern.

"Olly so what we are taking care of him? So what he thinks we are his parents? What's so wrong with being a dad, what's so wrong with being with me and taking care of him as a team? What's so wrong with him why can't you see your sister isn't coming back we know this from the dreams Oliver, we are never going to see her again and before long we are going to go to the court house and get custody after his first birthday, you know these things it's all falling into place." I said letting go of his hand, and turning to face him.

"I'm done following the dreams Addi".

"What"

"We can't do this"

"Why"

"Because I want us to be us not just the us in the dreams"

"Turn around" I demanded.

"We are going to get a Christmas tree"

"Not anymore. Turn around, take me and my baby home and you can go gather yourself. And come
Back when you realize who I am to you." I said my voice cracking tears threatening to fall.

Oliver did as I told him to. He took me and Matt home. I got Matt's car seat out of the back and his diaper bag and walked inside my house without a word between me and Oliver.

I took Matt out of his seat and placed him in his play Pen while I made hot chocolate and a bottle for him.
I put in the polar express and laid Matt in my arms and fed him. Finally he fell asleep and I laid him on the open space next to me, And I too fell asleep.

I didn't have a dream, which ment Oliver was far, far away.