"These things happen and its just something we cant control." The doctor sighed.
I just stared at the blank wall behind her and nodded my head.
"You can always try again..." she said as i just nodded. "Im so sorry for your loss." She says before leaving the room and Cesar and Jacob barged in.
"What did she say? Are you okay now?" Cesar asks as i started to break down.
I felt Jacob hug me tight as i cried in his arms. The boys were silent and all you could hear is me crying.
"I lost Amaya." I frown as i could see Jacob trying not to cry. But Cesar was tearing up.
"How did this happen?" Cesar asked as i shrug.
"They don't know." I sigh as i pull myself off the bed. I didnt even want to think about this.
"Can we just go home?" I frown as they nod their head.
"I'll drive if you want." Jacob offered as she nodded her head.
I just sat in the passenger seat silently. The boys were trying to make small talk but i was not having it.
The car ride seemed so long and i was so eager to lay down and cry.
How was i going to tell everyone? All my family and friends were so happy for me and now im supposed to tell them i had a miscarriage.
"Okay we are here." Cesar said making me look out the window to see the Santos chilling in the front.
I got out the car slowly and felt everyone's eyes on me.
"Hey mamas." Oscar walked up to me with pink roses. "Im sorry about our fight my love." He said kissing my cheek as i gave a him a small smile.
"Vanessa look!" Sad eyes smiles walking up to us. Then he held up the cutest pair of vans.
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Thats when i lost it.
I quickly walked inside crying as i went into the room and locked the door.
Oscar's pov
"Did she not like the shoes?" Sad eyes frowned.
Then we turned to Jacob and Cesar who were staring at the ground.
"Where did you guys go?" I ask them as Cesar just looked at me with tears in his eyes.
"The doctors." He answered making me raise my brow.
"But her appointment isn't today." I say confused as Cesar wiped his face.
"Vanessa lost the baby." Jacob choked out now bawling.
"What?" I ask making my voice crack.
"She had a miscarriage. The doctors couldn't determine how." Cesar explains.
I was now crying in front of everyone as they all just looked at me with sadness.
I just walked inside and ran towards my room and tried open the door but it was locked.
"Mamas please open the door." You could hear the sadness in my voice.
There was no answer so i took the key in my wallet and unlocked the door.
Vanessa was laying in the bed curled up into a ball silently crying.
She looked at me and she was heartbroken.
I sat on the bed and leaned against the headboard.
"Im so sorry Oscar." She said out of nowhere as she continued to cry.
"Noo." I cried as i pulled her onto my lap. "This is not your fault. And im sorry i wasnt here. I should have been here for you and i wasnt. I let you down." I frown as she held me tight.
We just cried together and it was really sad.
"Why did this have to happen to us?" She frowned as she continued to cry. I kissed her cheek.
"I dont know baby." I say as my cheeks started getting wet.
"You would have been such a great dad." She said as i wiped her tears.
"And you would have been such a good mom." I smile at her as she tried to stop her crying.
"I just wish we could have at least met her." She said as her tears came out again.
"I know baby." I sigh as she cried again.
"But we can always try again baby." I say as she nods her head.
Then i just rubbed Vanessa's back as she fell asleep. I watched her sleep peacefully.
My poor baby's eyes were puffy and her cheek were still wet.
Im sad that i will never get to meet my little princess but i know this affected Vanessa.
So much shit has happened to Vanessa in this past year and it hurts me because all she wants is pure happiness. And i cant even give that to her.
Maybe this was my fault. I shouldn't have left last night. If i didnt then maybe i could have saved Amaya right?
I slowly got off the bed and made my way outside. I sat on the porch stairs and stared at the pitch black that was ahead of me.
"Hey." Cesar said sitting next to me.
It was dark but i could still see his glossy eyes. I just nodded my head at him and stared at nothing.
"Vanessa is strong. She will get through this." Cesar says in a hurting voice.
I nod my head in agreement.
"Maybe this is just a signal that im not supposed to be a dad." I shrug as Cesar shook his head no.
"You were definitely meant to be a dad. This is nobodies fault. These are things that you cant control or stop Oscar. Dont blame yourself." He says as i just nod my head.
Then i cried on his shoulder. "I just wanted to meet her. Why does everything good in my life always get lost?" I sob as Cesar patted my back.
"You never lost Vanessa. Remember that."
-thesandlotqueen
Im really sad tbh but i didnt this to myself wtf.
I might not update tomorrow cause i have a stupid ass essay to do.
