"Hola mija. This is going to be hard to explain on paper especially since i can never make out the words out loud. But if you are reading this then you must have gotten the news. And i know you are going to try and blame yourself for my actions. But Vanessa i need you to understand that what i did isnt your fault. It was mine. I was stupid for cheating on my family. And i know i can never get any of your forgiveness. And i dont deserve it either. But no matter how you feel about me i still love you with all my heart. You were my first daughter and we always had the best time together and if i could i would change my actions so that wouldnt change. But unfortunately i cant do that. Which is why i am now left with nothing. Maybe this is how things were meant to be. Please look after your mother for me. Even though i fucked up i dont want anyone else to follow my steps. I promise to look after you princess. I will make sure no guy does what i did to your mother to you. I also want to apologize for judging your novio. It wasnt my place to say anything. And as long as he does a better job then your other ex boyfriends then its okay. I will watch over you and make sure you are safe as always. Be strong mija. It was for the best dont be upset. Its better if im just not there.
I love you so much baby
Love, your father❤️"
I set the letter down crying uncontrollably. He wrote this before he took his own life. I felt a hand on my shoulder and i turned to see Javier.
"Its okay you dont have to work today." He pulls me into a hug. "Be strong." He tries to smile.
"Okay." I say quietly.
I walked over to the park and sat at a table. I continued to sob thinking about how i just lost my father.
I still loved him even after what he did to our family. He was still family. And now he is officially gone. All he ever wanted was to visit his family and i scared him off and made him feel worse about himself. I am such a shitty person.
I felt a pair of arms wrap around my petite body making me jump.
"Shhh baby its okay." I heard Oscar whisper in my ear and i relaxed. Even though i wasnt supposed to talk to him just yet i needed his comfort.
"How did you find me here?" I cry watching the tears hit the table.
"One of the guys told me he saw you over here. I wanted to make sure you were okay." I felt his lips kiss my cheek as he pulls me onto his lap wrapping his arms around my waist.
"My dad killed himself." I say quietly as he wipes my tears carefully.
"I know baby." He frowns as i wrap my arms around him. "And now he died thinking i hate him." I start to cry even more than before just thinking about the idea of my dad thinking i hated him.
"No he doesnt." He says trying to calm me down. "This isnt your fault my love."
He held me for a good hour in that same spot until i stopped crying.
"Do you want me to take you home?" He looks at me as i just stare at the grass.
I just nod my head and he carried me to his car. The car ride was silent until he parked in front of my moms house.
I looked at him confused as he looks at me. "I wanna go home with you." I sniffle as he gave me a smile.
"Okay." He says driving to his house.
I got out the car and Jacob pulled me into a hug. He didnt say anything other than hugging me tighter before kissing my forehead.
"I love you." I mutter smiling. "I love you too." He gives me a small smile.
Then Cesar, Sad eyes, and Vincent hugged me. "I love you guys." I pout starting to cry again. "Babe please dont cry again." Oscar carries me into the house and onto the bed.
"We can do whatever you want. We can watch Drake & Josh." I couldnt help but smile at him. I always tried watching Drake and Josh when i was sad because it always made me laugh.
I just nod my head as he turned the tv on and laid in bed with me.
We ended up watching drake and josh all night until i started closing my eyes listening to josh yell about his headaches. We didnt really mention the fight from the other night but we were for sure going to talk about it just not right now.
I felt a kiss on my lips. "I love you baby." I heard him whisper. He really thought i was asleep haha sike.
"I love you too." I smile opening my eyes looking at him just stare at me.
-thesandlotqueen
