BTS AMBW Imagines.

- j i n -

I tried cleaning up my room, I tried sleeping all the day

"So, Miss (Y/L/N) how have you been doing?" You shrugged your shoulders as you stared at the window. This was your second session with your therapist and you still didn't feel like talking to her. You didn't think anything was wrong with you, personally. Your family and friends basically forced you to once you stopped hanging around them for a month. You sigh softly as you finally faced your therapist-who name you couldn't remember-for the first time in forty five minutes. She was Korean, she had her hair down and cascaded over her shoulder, and wearing those round glasses that others would call aesthetically pleasing. That's basically how she looked. 

"I've-um tried to clean up my room for the first time in a month-she nods-oh and also I tried to actually get some sleep." You chuckled at the last part as you played with the ends of your bell sleeves. You watched as she scribbled something down into her notepad. You didn't feel like being nosy what she wrote didn't matter to you, you had no issues. You were fine-Gucci. 

"Um-do you mind if I ask a personally question?" You shrugged your shoulder not really paying much care. She coughs slightly and place a hand onto her knees.

"Do-do you still think about him?" You close your eyes trying to not to remember. You placed a soft smile onto your face and shook your hand. 

"No, I don't." Was all you muttered as nods writing once more. 

I turned on movies I wanted to watch, And I did laugh when it was funny

"I'm glad you're felling better girl." Your friend, Jihyo, said as she set down some popcorn. You winced at you comment but ignored her. 

"Yeah, me too I missed y'all." You said truthfully. It's been a week or so since you last seen your therapist and with all honesty you didn't feel the need to go back. You were okay, one day at a time. 

"That's good, how about some old horror movies?" Said your other friend, SinB. You nod. 

"Yeah, that sounds okay." You laughed at certain parts that was funny. You were okay, better than ever. 

I even thought about buying new clothes today, I got drunk all night with friends too 

You smiled as you danced with your friends, loud music played as you twirled and even twerked on some guy. Who knew you could have so much fun without him. Your new dress cling onto you as sweat poured down from your expensive wig. Money. The money in which you saved up for years so, you can build a bigger future with him. Money, in which you spent all on clothes and cheap wine. You didn't care about him no more,  he had his boys. You had your girls. 

"You having fun?" Jihyo yelled. You smiled and nod. You kept drinking, you kept dancing with random strangers until it happened. You froze once you heard his voice "fake love" Played as you stood still on the dace floor. SinB and Jihyo eyes widen as they looked over for you. You clutched a hand over your mouth as you ran to the bathroom. Your expensive dress was now decorated with puke and tears. You wig long thrown on the floor somewhere. When were you going to get over him? 

Even without you, I spent an Ok day. Though I felt like I was going to die. 

"Ah, I see you're back Miss (Y/L/N)." You nod not even paying much attention. Why? Why did they continue to force you into things like this? He wasn't consuming you, he wasn't always invading your mind. So why did you feel like him leaving was your fault? Why did you feel like you wanted to punch him yet beg for his forgiveness. "Do you feel like talking about it, Miss (Y/L/N)." You looked at her with tears falling down your cheeks as you finally nod. You were defeated, you lost. 

"I-um I lost my boyfriend a month ago and I-I don't know how to feel...I miss him." Her eyebrows furrowed. 

"Like broken up or-or you know?" You shook your head mentally hating yourself for making him seem as if he's dead. 

"No, he's alive and well? I don't even know that." She places a hand onto her chest and sighs softly. 

"Well, have you ever tried to talk to him?" 

Are you ok, like me, are you ok? Did you empty me from out from your time? 

Your therapist words echos throughout your mind as you stared at your car keys. Should you try and talk to him? Is he even okay? Did he erase all memories of you two? 

"Jin, I know I suck ass but please-please forgive me. I want us to work, I miss you so much." You whispered to your self as you stopped at a gas station grabbing all of his favorite foods. "I'll even let you eat til your stomach explodes." You laughed at yourself as you paid and head back to your car. "I'll let go of everything to be with you again." You practiced everything you wanted to say to him. You wanted this to be perfect. 

I couldn't even tell you to take care 

You sighed as you stopped in front of his dorm. You mentally trying to prepare yourself. You finally grabbed the red and white bag and unbuckled your seat belt. You boots clicked as you walked up the stairs. Once the familiar room number came into view you stood in front of it. Your hand stopped halfway. 

"You can do this," you whispered once more. As you knocked on the door. You felt confident, happy actually maybe you guys can just stop being upset at each other-

"Hello?" You smiled once you saw Jin, his over sized hoodie looked nice on him. "(Y/N)?" You nod and smiled. 

"Jin I wanna say-" You were cut off. Your heart ached as you watched the Korean girl wrap her arms around his waist and rested her head on his neck. 

"Oh, honey who's this?" Your grip tightens around the plastic bag. 

"Uh-no one anything else?" You started to tear up as you took out a drink and threw it at him. 

"Yes, choke on her pussy bitch." Was the last thing you said before you ran to your car. You slammed the door shut as you sat there and cried. 

Jin picks up the drink with a slight frown. 

I wanted you to hurt more than I did 

(A/N) ah, the song is by Park boram, How about u. It's such a good song I recommend it. Also, who the hell told Monsta x and Stray kids to comeback on the same day. And who the fuck gave permission to Hyunjin to kill me with his selfies? Like my heart it can't. Also, I'm starting a Stray kids ambw soon probably later on today since I'm done with everything 

(QOTD) current favorite songs? 
(AOTD)  oh shit... okay Save me, save by WJSN, Crazy and hate by 4Minute, Into you by Yuri, senorita by VAV, Love bomb by Fromis_9, Kiss and make up by dua lipa and black pink, NANANA by Lay, something by girls day and lastly Insomnia and questions by Stray kids. Ah I love music.