'Silent' Clouds.

ABANDONMENT

Dedicated to those suffering from fear of abandonment

You feel broken, imperfect, yet you shine.

You feel betrayed, scarred, yet you make me curious still.

You hate life, people, yet there's someone willing to help, to tell you it's not the end of the world.

If the word turns it's back on you, you turn your back on the world.

And I hope you understand that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. You might not see it now, but eventually you will.

But it all starts with taking a leap, taking the big risk and if someone does fuck that opportunity up, then fuck them, but life is shitty, right?

You feel "forgotten, antagonised and demonized", alone in your darkness, and even basking in it.

You bury yourself in music, in silence, and you think it best describes you.

You shut the world out because you've been hurt and you can't tell the difference between genuineness and pretence anymore.

You don't get close because you fear you emit something you can't explain.

You drive people away because you think it's what's best.

You drive people away even when it's not intentional.

You're scared to feel, to love because you believe people always leave in the end, and so you channel your feelings in form of hostility, you leave venomous words as comments to get people to leave you alone but deep down you want them to stay but you're too scared to want to acknowledge it.

You say things you don't mean.

You say things you mean.

You engulf yourself in the world of gaming because it's the only way you can confront your feelings and fears, the only way you can battle the world.

You allow music take you away because it's the only thing that can. The only thing that understands you.

You're scared.

You're scared of abandonment and it makes you hate the world, it makes you think people getting close have an ulterior motive.

You're scared because you've been abandoned before and life's just a series of the same occurrences over and over again.

And so you resort to going dark, because you feel people being close means no chain of disappointments, broken promises, lies.

And you believe you're too dark to be loved, to be able to feel like you're the number one priority.

You're skeptic because you've had your share of experiences.

You get uneasy with stares.

You're dark and it's a thing of comfort to you, you find solace in it because you're free from the world and it's pretence.

You're emotionally impenetrable and you think it's best for you.

You don't know how to react to something good happening in your life because you've convinced yourself you don't deserve anything good.

But you're a badass and you don't even know it. You're awfully misunderstood and it's okay to be.

You cloak yourself with harsh words, hostility, gullibility, darkness, you wear them like an armour, shielding you from the mishaps of the world but even at that you're just a boy/girl who's lost, hurt and wants to be correctly understood.

You want someone beyond you, someone who'll stay for good and can convince you you're more than the universe and the constellation of stars.

Someone who motivates you and can turn your weakness to your strength.

Someone who'll never give up on you and stick up for you no matter what, someone who'll always be there to stay, to remind you that you're perfect even in your flaws, someone who makes you see the good you don't.

And the best part is that there's someone out there for you.

With each step, every decision, passing minutes, hours, days, change in weather and season, you're just one step closer...