Struggling to be me

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I was only 14 when I realised I was gay, I had thought I was bi for long time before that, but then, I finally realised that I couldn't fight the truth anymore!
I had told all my close friends I was bi and they were ok about it but they didn't really care which I guess was a good thing, I mean, they could have hated me!

I had dated lots of girls before but never a boy, I just knew I was into boys though! When I had boy crushes they were so intense, but my girl crushes, well, I didn't really have girl crushes, I think i just made myself think I had a crush on them, Because I always had crushes on boys!

At one point I even had a crush on the most popular boy in the school, but I knew that would never happen so I eventually got over him!

Most of the time I wished I wasn't gay, I didn't want any of my family to know, or my friends, even though my mum always said it would be ok if I was gay! The thing was, I was just scared of the truth, I didn't want to be gay, but I couldn't help my feelings and I just had to accept who i was!

Here is my story...