Struggling to be me

6

Our teacher walked in and said "sit down class" and immediately everyone obeyed, "as you might have noticed we have a new young man in our class today, his name is Luke" I couldn't have been more embarrassed, I could feel my cheeks going bright red as i noticed that everyone was staring at me... that was when I noticed that I was still standing.
"You will sit there next to Sean" the teacher said as he pointed to the empty seat next to the really cute popular boy... so his name was Sean!

"As you probably will know my name is Mr White and I am your new form tutor teacher" he told me "now I want to hear that everyone has been nice to Luke today, so please-

"Can't you see that he is embarrassed sir, I think you should stop going on about it now" Sean said as he winked at me, to indicate he was trying to stop me from getting so embarrassed.

But I still felt as though I wanted to fall through a hole in the ground!

"Thanks" I whispered to sean and he replied with "hey, no prob mate!"

Omg, I was already crushing so bad, maybe I shouldn't hide from the truth and I should just come out... maybe!

But definitely not yet.

When tutor ended, a girl with blonde hair who was almost as tall as I was came up to me and introduced herself as Mia "you need as may friends as you can get around here" she added on, "we gotta stick together, let's be friends" she chuckled.

I said yes and breathed a laugh
"I'm glad to have someone to rely on, This place is so big"

"Yeah, it always feels that way when you first come here, don't worry you'll soon get used to it. Anyway, I think you have maths now but I have English, see you later" she said and I said goodbye and started following the signs to the maths block.

Then, quite suddenly, sean came and jumped on my back and yelled, "hey mate, I just found out we are in the same maths class, come on, I'll walk you there!" He leaped off my back and started walking.

"So" I said trying to make conversation "you been here since the start of year 7?" Which was when the school started, we were on year nine now.

"Yeah" he replied with "i love this school and that, and I have loads of friends, but it does get tiring!"

"And plus it's hard with me being openly gay, cuz I am the only person in the school who is, I get teased a bit but most people are ok with it" he exclaimed.

I couldn't reply to him because we got to maths just at that point, so he went and sat down in his seat and I went up to the teacher who introduced herself as Mrs Plaines.
"You will be sitting next to Olivia" she told me and pointed to one of the girls who was pointing and giggling at the boys in tutor this morning. The teacher then gave me a book so I went to the table and started working out the questions on the board, knowing the whole time that Olivia was staring at me!

"Your Luke aren't you?" She asked
"Yeah", your Olivia, right?" I replied
She nodded and we got on with the maths. Near the end of the lesson she said "there are a few things you need to know around here..." she said in an unusual tone "now don't want to sound cruel or mean but there are like groups, there are the nerds the unpopulars, the populars, the middles, and the outcasts... you need to choose which one you belong in, and fast, otherwise there will be problems!"

"Also you need to know that I am the most popular girl in the school and sean is te most popular boy, so don't mess, with us but I don't mean to sound full of myself! She said and I knew full well that she meant to sound full of herself, after that I instantly didn't like her!

Maths soon ended and sean found me so we could  walk to class together, I knew he was trying to make me feel welcome, I was quite surprised he wasn't hanging out with his popular friends to be honest.

I thought that maybe he liked me, then I realised I hadn't even been at the school for 2 hours. I was just getting ahead of myself.

"Are you actually gay?" I said my heart racing...
"Yeah I am, I wouldn't just say it for the sake of it" he said laughing, then his expression turned serious "you are ok with that, aren't you?"

"Of course" I replied swiftly, I thought about telling him there an then but I held back, I don't know why but I just did.

"Anyway" he said, obviously trying to fill the silence, "I saw Olivia talking to you in maths, she can come across as horrible, but once you get to know her she is alright. She does think that everyone likes her though, she's a bit full of herself, I don't know how she's so popular"

"Yeah she spoke to me in maths" I said "she seems alright I guess!"

We had art next which we had with the rest of the people in our tutor. As soon as we got there mia came up to me and went on about how her English teacher gave her a detention...

"... and he still gave it to me, even though I explained how it wasn't my fault!"

That was pretty much all I heard as all I could think about was sean, so I tried to push him to the back of my mind.

Are you alright Mia said because I didn't reply... I nodded and was about to go up to the teacher to ask where I was going to sit and then sean pushed me outside of the classroom, tears streaming down his face. I thought it was quite unusual for a 14 year old popular boy to be crying but I just comforted him anyway!

"I hate Ryan" he stutterd "he... he... he's such a dick"

"What did he do" I said in a soft tone, realising that Ryan was one of his best friends, one of the ones who came in with Sean in tutor that morning.

"He... he... he called my mum and told her I was gay... I don't m...m...mind anyone on school knowing but my mum is homophobic and she will hate me...! And I don't even know why he told her" he said tears still pouring out from his eyes...

I thought for a moment, why was he coming to me about this... surely he would trust all his other friends more than me, who he only met this morning.

"Heyyy, it's ok" I said slowly putting my arm around him to comfort him. We both slid down the wall we were leaning on and then I continued.

"I know you won't like me for saying this and it will be hard but I think when you go home tonight you need to talk to your mum" he just looked at me his bright blue eyes trying to focus through the tears, on my face, so I continued "and if it gets really bad, you can always come and stay at my house in Beverly Hills for a bit with me and my maid."

"Can I really?" he said, sounding surprised, probably because I had only met him this morning, but it felt like I had known him forever.

"Of course you can" I replied.

- what will happen next -

- hope you are enjoying this book so far, please leave a comment so I can improve or just let me know what you think, thanks guys -