As Bay stood meters away from the edge, her heart pounding and her long, black hair bilowing in the cool night breeze, that was when she realised something, something that changed her life: This wasn't going to solve her problems. If anything it will make it worse for everyone else. Not that they cared that much. Her father had done it. Her sister had thought about it and now, running it through, over and over in her head, she to came to the same conclusion her sister had: Suicide fuels problems, it doesn't come close to solving them.
Taking a deep, shakey breath, she allowed her knees to buckle. She crumbled to the ground, falling in an ungraceful heap. After collecting her thoughts and moving back from, the ever prominant, cliff edge, Bay lay back and allowed herself to get lost in the captivating stars shining above her head. Each small group of stars seemed to, somehow, connect to create different images which, in Bay's mind, made them all the more hypnotic.
Completely mesmerized by the light show above her, Bay's eyes began to fall heavy and soon enough, she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep with nothing but the clothes on her back to keep her from freezing in the frosty air of the night.
*********************
The stars soon began to fade into the lightening sky as the orange sun rose above the cliff top. The increase in light made Bay's eye's flutter open. "I should probably be getting back..." Bay said into the barren space around her. Pulling her jacket closer to her shivering body, she walked down the long, winding coast path which, only hours before, had been leading her on a literal path of realisation. Bay took in the breath-taking sea scape to her left as she continued along the narrow path.
When Bat finally reached her front door the sun was high in the sky, bathing everything in a warm glow.
"Where the fuck have you been!?" Her mother screeched as Bay closed the front door behind her and slid her high tops off her feet. Doing her best to ignore her drunk mother, Bay made for the stairs but was brought to a swift holt by the hand that grabbed her ankle as she stepped onto the 3rd step from the bottom.
"Answer me bitch!" Her mother's growing anger was evident in her voice so Bay answered her the best she could without letting her mother know her true intentions when she left the house earlier the previous day.
"I went for a walk..." Bay smiled nervously.
"A walk my ass! You were gone for 2 days!" Her mother exaggerated. It had been barely 12 hours since Bay had left. Unsure of what to say and how to get out of the situation, Bay began to walk up the stairs again only to be dragged back down and pushed up against the wall.
"I bet you were fucking that little boyfriend of your's weren't ya!?" It wasn't a question but Bay felt she had to defend herself and Beau.
"Beau and I are just friends Mum." Bay tried but regretted the words the second they left her mouth as her mother's hand collided with her cheek.
"How dare you answer me back! I am your Mother!" The woman who had been the source of Bay's pain for 18 years spat and, once again, brought her hand across her daughter's face. Bay took a sharp in take of breath and her hand held her reddening cheek.
"I don't want to see your hidiuos face! GO!" Bay's mother screamed. Taking that as her que to escape, Bay sprinted up the stairs and straight into her bedroom; the save haven she had taken as her own when her sister left. She had plastered the wall in posters and drawings, making that one room the closest thing to home she had. Bay pulled her notebook out from under the pillow on the bed and picked the pen up off the night stand. Setting the pen down on the lined paper, she began to write...
12th October 2013
It happened again. I come home from being out for the day and Mother accuses me of being some hooker. I've tried explaining to her that Beau is my best friend and ONLY my best friend but when ever i try to reason with her she either slaps me or tells me that I'm just a useless whore who needs to stop telling lies. She's the reason i went to the cliff today. Suicide has always been a last resort but, to tell you the truth, I wouldn't do that to Beau. He's told me so many times that I'm beautiful and I should just run away and escape the hell I'm being put through but I just can't. What if Mum were to find me? She would kill me. Anyway, I have to go.
Until next time, Bay x
Bay leant back on the bed and sighed. Writing in that diary has been her only escape since she was no more than 8 years old. Just over half the notebook was filled with her diary entries and notes, the remaining pages were either empty or filled with drawings and doodles that she would do in her free time. She pulled her black headphones out from the small, wooden draw of her night stand. She pushed the little jack into her IPod and pressed play on whatever had been playing before. 'Addicted to Pain' by Alter Bridge filled her ears and she sighed in relief. Next to drawing, music was Bay's main escape. She would put her headphones in and ignore the world, letting the heavy riffs and pulsating basslines fill her entire being and soak up all her problems. Without music, Bay would be 6 feet under by now.
Six Feet Under The Stars by All Time Low
(The links at the bottom of the pages are to the songs the titles are from)
