The Official Blartican Church Bible

Introduction to the Blartican Church

Welcome to the Offical Holy Blartican Church Bible. 

The Blartican Church is a church that worships Paul Blart. This religion was started by the pope of the Blartican Church, Aly, who was on laughing gas after falling off of her horse and breaking her wrist. While dreaming under laughing gas, she saw the face of Blart, and knew that she must do something with the beautiful sight and message of Blart. So, with that, she started a religon-Blart's religion.

In this bible, you will find gospels from masses and prayers. There will be a separate book for hymns coming soon.

Some Things to Know Before Reading On (if you are new to the church):

-We not only worship Blart, but also his segway, his mall, his mother (Mother Margret), his daughter (The First Disciple Maya), and his former lover (The Second Disciple Amy).

-The Shoplifters are like the devils to us- they are the reason our god became a god, but they are still rotten to the core. If you are confused, the shoplifters are Veck and his crew of people who took over the mall, and were taken down by our lord Paul Blart.

-To send a prayer to Blart, we either place both hands over our heart or lift four fingers to our lips and whisper the words into our fingers, and then lift our hand up to the sky to deliver the message to the heavenly mall.

Thank you dear Blartican for reading.