Kickstart My Heart

XXI: The Truth Will Set You Free

Lila

Watching Logan storm back into the gala hurt and a part of me refused to understand why. It felt like I had a knife in my gut and it was being twisted unforgivingly. With a frustrated sigh I took a seat on the bench and buried my face in the palms of my hands. Why didn't I just say it? What in my head didn't allow me to put how I felt about her into words? Taylee was right, as loathe as I was to admit it, she was right. I cared about Logan as more than just a fling or a friend with benefits.

"Is there a reason you're out here instead of inside making good on that promise you made me?"

Great... the last thing I needed right then.  Before my gaze even met my mother's I could practically feel the condescending glare. I leaned against the back of the bench and just looked up at the night sky, trying my damndest to not tell her to mind her own damn business for once in her life.

"Lila," she said, an edge of warning to her tone that drew my gaze to her again.

"I just have a headache, mother, I apologize. The drone of conversation was making it worse," I muttered, staring at the ground now.

"Is something bothering you?"

"No. Like I said, I've got a headache."

I knew she would be hesitant to believe me but she had never been one to push unless she thought it involved her or could hurt the family reputation in anyway.

"Your father is here. I thought you'd want to see him."

With nothing more said the Hospital Director strode gracefully back into the gala. I was arguing with myself now about whether or not I even wanted to go back. The doors slammed open, drawing my attention and my heart skipped several beats when I realized it was Logan running from the gala. I got to my feet to follow her but when I finally reached where she stopped, I froze. Jealousy ate at my veins like acid when I saw Trevor hugging her close as she cried.

It took everything I had to not yell at him to get his hands off her. But I clearly had no right.... Coincidentally Taylee met me at the door, the concerned look in her eyes asking her question without her ever even having to speak it.

"I'm leaving. I can't be around all these people anymore."

"What happened-"

"I tried to talk her. It didn't work out. Goodnight Taylee."

After grabbing my keys from the doorman I left. I know I had a bottle of Jack Daniels somewhere in one of my cupboards at home.

~

When I rolled out of bed the next day it was straight to the bathroom, I almost didn't make it to be honest. The first fifteen minutes of my morning were spent with my head in the toilet; what a great way to start the day. It took every ounce of energy I had to shower, hoping I wouldn't feel so much like shit if I did. No work for me today thank god; I wouldn't be able to make it through the day. Once out of my room and into my living room I went straight for the fridge and downed some water. I leaned back to look around the fridge door when I heard the lock in my apartment door click before it swung open.

"Lila?"

"What are you doing here Taylee," I grumbled, using a foot to close the fridge.

"Well I was worried about you for one, I haven't seen that look in your eye since we were in college," my blonde friend said stubbornly with folded arms after slamming the door shut.

"Fuck can you not make loud noises? My head feels like someone's taking a jack hammer to it."

"Oh I'm sorry am I being too loud?"