Kickstart My Heart

XXV: Fallout

Lila

I froze... I honestly couldn't move a muscle or even begin to conceive an answer to Martha's question. I looked in Taylee's direction but she was a ways off down the hall already a resident on her heels.

"Martha I'm so sorry..." I began, the collar of the button up feeling more like a noose all of a sudden.

I saw the disbelief beginning to pool in her eyes right along with a new set of tears.

"We had our best trauma team working on him... his injuries were too severe and he... Arthur died. I'm sorry."

Just like that Martha was on the floor, sobs shaking her body uncontrollably. Yeah... the noose was definitely tightening. Kneeling down beside her, I put an arm around her and tried to convey some sort of sympathy.

"Martha," I tried after a few moments when her crying had subsided a little bit.

"Logan needs you right now. Go sit with her okay? Our social worker will be up along with a psychiatrist if either of you needs it," I spoke gently, only loud enough for her to hear.

Her eyes wouldn't meet mine and she stalked back into Logan's room, not even bothering to utter a single syllable to me. I leaned against the wall of the elevator as it seemed to move at a sluggish pace to my floor. If I hadn't had my senses about me I would have been on the floor, out cold. Once in my office I barely took notice of the click when I turned the lock home. I almost didn't make it to the couch before I was out like a light.

When I started awake to the knock on my office door I had no idea how long I'd been out for. Stumbling to my feet I unlocked the door and pulled it open while glancing at my phone. It was 5pm, telling me I'd slept all day; I should have felt rested and yet I felt like I'd been kicked by a mule. Taylee held out a coffee, in clean clothes and her lab coat gracing her shoulders.

"I take it you still want to help," she asked, taking a sip of her own coffee that I would bet money was black as night.

"Of course. Just uh... give me a second."

A few second was all it took, I tucked my shirt back in, pulled my lab coat on and tied my hair back as we walked.

"Did you get any sleep?"

"A bit. You," I asked before we reached the door to room 10.

"Yeah as much as you can get on an uncomfortable couch."

Logan's eyes shot open when Taylee and I made our entrance. The smile that lit up her face calmed my panicked heart but I hadn't missed the small flicker of disappointment. What exactly it was for I wasn't sure. Martha was once again absent.

"How are you feeling, Logan," Taylee asked, yet again checking her vitals and then moving to check her incision sights.

"I'm alright, my pain isn't too bad I guess," she answered, her eyes never leaving my own.

I was keeping my distance, allowing Taylee room to do her job, my hands behind my back. It was obvious by Logan's expression she was searching for something in my gaze.

"Alright well the good news is, Logan. Your surgery went really well."

"I'm sensing a but," she said, directing her attention to Taylee now.

"The recovery is going to be long and you're going to need at least one more surgery."

I knew the question she was itching to ask but I knew she was too afraid to actually ask it.

"Logan soccer isn't completely out of the equation. It's all going to depend on you, everyone is different but it's not unheard of for athletes to go back to sports after a femur fracture," I said, folding my arms to hide the fact that my hands were shaking.

Taylee was nodding agreement, "As she said though, it all depends on you. With physical therapy we'll get you as close to normal again as we can. It will take at least a year though before you'll be able to go back to the field though."

Logan just nodded and mumbled a question about what needed to happen now. Taylee and I carefully got her out of bed, one of my arms around her waist and hers around my shoulders.

"I really need to use the bathroom," Logan muttered, a pinch of embarrassment showing on her cheeks.

"I've got her," I nodded to Taylee.

It took a minute but I finally got her situated and turned to leave so she could have some privacy.

"It's not like you haven't seen anything before," she tried to joke.

I actually cracked a smile at this and I let her see it clear as day.

"Not everyone wants an audience on the porcelain throne," I teased before continuing, "Just let me know when you're done ok?"

After a few minutes I was helping her back towards her bed. We had to get her weight bearing at least a little bit to avoid complications with her muscles. Taylee kept back, allowing me to be the one to help Logan; my friend knew I was being protective and she let me do this for my own sake of sanity. We didn't do much as Logan was still in a lot of pain though so it was only a couple of minutes attempting to walk with her arm around my shoulders and my arm around her waist.

"Where's my dad?"

My breath caught in my throat and Taylee looked at me, startled.

"Has she not talked to you," I asked carefully.

"Not since last night before I fell asleep. It... it wasn't a good conversation..."

I couldn't speak now... why in the hell had Martha not told her?! Speak of the devil... the door opened and Martha stepped in with some coffee and a bag of donuts. She eyed me closely as I carefully moved back towards the bed with Logan.  I stayed back yet again while Taylee explained everything to the two of them; all of their options, what recovery was going to be like etc.

Martha for the most part seemed to be listening but I was beginning to get uncomfortable with the amount of times she kept glancing at me with an unfamiliar look. She asked for time alone with her daughter and we respected her request. Taylee was ahead of me going out the door; I couldn't help but glance back at Logan wistfully.

"Lila?"

Well now that was definitely off, Martha never called me by my first name. I turned to see what she needed but never even got fully back around. The side of my face lit up with pain and I tumbled backwards into Taylee, who had by the grace of god turned around in time to catch me before I hit the floor.

"Mom?! What the hell are you doing?!"

With Taylee's arms hooked under mine, holding me up I stared in utter shock at my head nurse who was now shaking her swelling hand.

"Stay away from my daughter," Martha hissed pointing an accusatory finger in my face before slamming the room door shut in our faces.

"Um... did that really just happen," Taylee asked, sounding just as stunned as I felt.

"Paging Dr. Lila Masters, please report to the Chief of Medicine's office. Repeat, Dr. Lila Masters to the Chief of Medicine's office."

"Oh that's just fucking great..."