Two Broken Hearts

(Ryan's P.O.V.)

"Lillian, I don't want to hurt you." leaves my lips. That never was my intentions the first day I was dating her. It may just be me, but in that moment in time, I feel her heart shatter further. How do those comforting words hurt her? I hear her voice say "What? What does Ryan Brock possibly want to know about his ex he left breaking?" 

I say "Lillian, d-do you still love me? Truthfully?" She says "Ryan, I don't know what love is. With you, I knew what love was. What true love was. When I broke, I lost myself. I lost love." 

I say "I think I may know what love is." I continue "Love is having this strange feeling in your stomach, and the feeling isn't something you can recognize and label as love." I feel her heart beat slowly, not her hearts in a safe, the heart I found the key for and managed to open up. She says "Love is wanting someone for ever and ever. It's looking at someone for no reason and laughing with them about nothing. It's loving someone no matter what." 

The waiter comes to take their order. I say "Just something for the lady." A blush takes over her features. You never would've guessed just a few minute ago her and I were fighting over coming here and talking. That I wouldn't be her boyfriend. 

Then realization hits and I come to my senses. I'm not her boyfriend, I'm not going to take her home and cuddle her. I guess her hoodie I bought her and promise ring on her left finger does bring me back. Old me. The one who broke her. 

I hate him! I look at her body and notice the hoodie and smile slightly, she's wearing it. I want to reach for her hand, but I'm scared of her reaction. 

Will she run? Will she break? Will she forget about me? Will she forget our past and hold my hand? Will she ever forgive me? 

I brush off the questions flooding my mind and reach under the table for her left hand. My fingers brush against cool metal. I rub my finger over it again and feel two rough patches. I know that feeling all too well. She's also wearing the promise ring. 

Her finger brushes my knuckles. It's a start I suppose. I ask "Wanna know something?" A grin takes over her features as she nods. I continue "I spoke to Colbs yesterday, and he still calls you his Lillian." 

She smiles and says "I was always fond of Colby, I think I had to be, after all, I'd rather deal with 2 Brock's than 1." Realizing how she's acting. I'm still her weakness. Her amnesia on top of that. She's forgotten about her anger towards me and for this moment we are 2 best friends, in our hometown restaurant, waiting to have our food whilst talking about our lives. 

I'm just dreading what's gonna happen when this stops.