Cigarettes and Sass (reupload)

Chapter 3

Gerard lay in bed considering everything he had overheard in the corridor, his heart still hammering despite it being a good two hours later.

Once he had got into his room, Gerard had dumped is bag to the floor and gone straight to bed, exhausted from a long day working and travelling. Sleep wouldn't come to him though, his mind too busy working over every little word he had heard escape Frank Iero's mouth.

There seemed to be one major positive out of the little snippet of conversation Gerard had heard, and that was that Frank did enjoy meeting his fans. He'd even said he loved it, which just worked in Gerard's favour since he had felt a little nervous that when it came to the convention Frank would be sat, waiting to meet his fans only because he was being paid to. That when Gerard finally reached his turn and got to meet him in person Frank would only stare at him with a bored expression and say nothing as he signed whatever Gerard found to give him.

At least now Gerard could rest easy knowing Frank genuinely wanted to meet the people who 'slobbered over him'... But that then brought Gerard to all the other things he had heard Frank saying.

The topic of conversation had seemed strange to Gerard, and even now he could make little sense of it. Why would Frank feel the need to tell the man he was with that he wasn't prepared to sleep with his fans? Maybe last year there had been an incident where he had slept with one and it had been a disaster. Maybe the man Frank had been with had set it up, Gerard was sure he could remember Frank saying something about the man not trying to hook him up with anyone this year.

Gerard mused over this as he hugged his pillow, his eyes closed but his mind still working over time.

It seemed that Frank had either had sex with a fan before or had been put into a situation where he was expected to, and he didn't feel comfortable with it. Gerard could understand it if that was the case, he could understand that there was a difference between sleeping with another porn actor and sleeping with a fan. At least with another actor you knew they were in it for the same reasons as you: Money. With a fan they'd probably be doing it for the hope they could get something out of it, a relationship or a claim to fame. Frank wasn't just a sex object for other people to use... Gerard understood that perfectly.

Gerard sighed to himself and bowed his head, burying his face into the soft pillow in his arms. Part of him was thrilled Frank wasn't the type of person to fuck his fans, but then another part of him was secretly devastated. Gerard would be lying if he said he hadn't fantasised about having sex with Frank many times, it was hardly surprising with the amount of time he spent obsessing over him, watching his every video and looking at every photo shoot. Gerard felt as if he knew the man personally he had seen so many interviews and read so many blogs... but of course he knew he only knew what Frank was happy to broadcast publicly. And deep down that wasn't enough.

Gerard wanted to get to know Frank properly. He wanted to know the man and not just the porn star. He wanted to be able to chat with him and smoke with him, maybe take him to the Italian restaurant in New York... He wanted to wake up next to him and kiss up the smooth slope of his neck, to inhale his scent and feel his body connected against his.

God... Gerard ached for it. He wanted it all and he wanted it only with Frank. He wasn't a fool, he knew he was dreaming of having a relationship with the man and he knew it was absurd. Frank was completely out of his league, he was untouchable... And how could Gerard ever secure even one tiny date with him if Frank didn't want that kind of thing with his fans?

Gerard knew if he ever stood a chance with Frank he had to find a way to talk to the man as just a stranger and not another fan. But the only way Gerard would ever be able to talk to Frank at all was by approaching him at his signing table... and only fans would go there...