Cigarettes and Sass (reupload)

Chapter 18

Frank gazed at Gerard through his lashes as he lay in bed, fingers curled around the edge of the covers, ready to throw them back and invite Gerard into bed as soon as the older man was done with his work. Frank wanted nothing more than to just lie with him and kiss him all night, but it turned out the artist was behind on his work and he had no choice but to finish his Breakfast Monkey story board before he could come to bed.

When the two men had made it back to Gerard's apartment they had sat for almost three hours, just talking over everything and getting it all out into the open. Frank had spent the whole time feeling gradually more and more ashamed of himself. Thinking back he knew he had completely jumped to the wrong conclusions... But Gerard being Gerard he had insisted he understood and had done everything he could to lessen Frank's guilt.

Lying in bed now Frank just couldn't understand how he had ended up with someone so perfect. He felt incredibly stupid to have ever thought about leaving Gerard. Knowing how close he'd come to never seeing him again made him feel sick. Who cared whether Gerard was a fan. He was still the best man Frank had ever met and he should be fighting to keep him not lose him. Frank had never felt more stupid in his entire life.

"Gee..." He mewled, biting his lip as he gazed at Gerard's back. "Baby, you coming to bed soon?"

"Mm? Oh, yeah I'm nearly finished." Gerard promised, not turning to look at Frank. Now that they were okay again his motivation to draw had returned in one fell swoop and he was racing through his story board. He had had an onslaught of ideas and couldn't wait to pitch them, but for now he just needed to finish this one and then he'd spend the rest of the night with Frank.

Gerard knew that Frank was beating himself up over everything but the artist wanted nothing more than to just forget it all now and focus on moving on. They were back together and that was what was important. He didn't care what Frank had thought or how stubborn he had been, all he cared about was the fact that he was back in his bed and in just a few minutes he could curl up in his arms and everything would be okay again. Frank would help him with the Bert situation and his work would start to get back on track. It was all just fine.

Frank sighed as he gazed at Gerard for another long moment before he rolled slowly onto his back and just gazed at the ceiling. Knowing he had caused Gerard such sadness, enough to stop him from doing his job, made him feel like the worst person in the world. Especially now that he had been told the whole story with Bert as well and he realised how much stress Gerard had been under recently. Frank made a silent vow to himself to stand by Gerard now no matter what. He had talked to Bert briefly when they had arrived in the apartment, before the blonde man had scuttled away into the kitchen to keep out of their way whilst they talked on the sofa which was serving as his bed since Gerard didn't have a spare room.

Frank couldn't say he liked Bert. He seemed pleasant enough... If a little timid and nervous. But Frank could only think of everything that Gerard had told him about him. How cruel he had been to Gerard when they had been dating. He remembered what Mikey had said to him that day outside the university, about how cut up Gerard had been when Bert left and Frank just couldn't bring himself to like him. He would be civil to him, and he would help him for Gerard's sake but that was all.

The thought of Jeph finding them made Frank feel anxious, but he didn't want to let on in case he worried Gerard. The porn business had its dark sides, darker than most people imagined and Frank had met some cruel people in his time. He knew better than to underestimate men like Jeph and he prayed to God that he never found them. He had no doubt that he would hurt Gerard for trying to help Bert, and Frank just didn't know what he'd do if Gerard was harmed. The thought brought tears to his eyes and made his heart race erratically, and he had to take a deep breath to compose himself.