My phone rang, I really wasn't surprised, I knew exactly who it would be.
I rolled over and looked at the clock, almost 1am.
I picked up my phone. "Hello."
"Em, it's me."No shit. "Do you mind if I come over?"
Well yes actually I mind, I mind a whole lot."Right now Matt?"
"I really want to see you." More like I really want to fuck you!
"Okay, you know where the spare key is, let yourself in."
I was a fucking idiot, every single time I promised myself the next time he called I would say no, but I just couldn't, I was in love with him, and it was tearing me apart.
This had been going on for about two years. I was his fall back girl, his friend with benefits, I would never be anything more, I knew that, but I just couldn't say no to him. He had me wound around his little finger and I'm pretty sure he knew it.
I layed there waiting, cursing myself for being so stupid when I heard the front door open. I listened to him come up the stairs, and open my bedroom door.
"Hey." He said taking off his shoes and jeans.
"Hey."
He got in the bed and rolled over and smiled at me. "What have you been doing tonight Em?"
"Not much." Sulking, over you.
He reached over and pulled me into his arms. "Feel like fooling around?"
Well that was the only reason he was here wasn't it?
I shrugged.
"Do I have to convince you?" But before I could answer he started kissing me.
That was all it took, I was his. I hated myself as I layed there letting him kiss me all over, I hated the way my body responded to his every touch, the way I cried out when he brought me to a show stopping orgasm, he knew every inch of my body and he knew exactly what to do to me.
Afterwards we layed there, he always held me and that was nice,we always talked and that was nice, but I knew he didn't love me, as a friend, yes, but not in the same way I loved him, he never would.
We fell asleep, at least he always stayed the night and in the morning I got up quietly and showered. I had work.
I stood in the shower and cried, I always did afterwards, I felt so cheap and nasty, I really was just a whore, sex to him, that was it, I just didn't know how to stop it without ruining our friendship. I mean we'd been friends for years and I didn't want to lose that.
I came out of the bathroom and he was awake, laying there.
"Let yourself out." I told him.
"I know the drill Em."
I walked out and left him there. I wouldn't see him until the next time some girl knocked him back and he felt horny.
I stopped, oh yes I would, I would see him at the party at Zack's house tonight. Great, no doubt he would bring one of his dates, a bimbo who could hardly string two words together.
I hated this.That was it. I was done with Matthew, this was never happening again.
I got into my car and started it. I laughed, who was I fucking kidding?
