RELATABLE.

Mother.

"Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation."
-Rumi
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love."
-Washington Irving

Death is one of those things that's expected but not really. It takes a toll on many every day and causes weird shifts in life that you'd never think would happen. It was my mother. Two weeks before my high school graduation and the week of my prom, devastated wasn't even a word for me, I crashed and I totaled. Speechless, the words were lost but boy oh boy the tears ran down my face like crazy. Confused, why was this happening to us, why was it happening to me? Did GOD hate me? Was he trying to ruin my fucking life? So many questions and emotions. I'm better today, my mental health dropped and looked to me to heal it, but I still have my days, even writing this took a week because it's still an emptiness where she once rested in my heart, my mother.

I'll never forget, it was literally just like yesterday when you passed out on the floor at three in the morning and Kiya came into the room to get me and we were panicking because we didn't know what to do, so I called my auntie and she rushed over to the house in less than a minute. We got you up, packed a bag, cleansed you, and dialed 911 to only be told 4/24/17 at 10 AM you turned over to God, it doesn't even feel like a year, I'll never forget slipping in and out of depression as it was time to plan your funeral, go to prom, and graduate all in one time. The tears me and Kiya cried in the middle of the nights holding on to each other as our dad came to get us and the stress of making a new plan to figure out what was next for our futures. You came to us and told us to stop crying but we don't know how you told us you were ok but we weren't okay, every day goes by a little bit slower with each memory passing in our minds and every single day seems to get a little bit longer knowing you not here anymore. I just wish you had just a tad bit more time, before we had to say our final goodbyes, I broke down typing this because life has been a huge turmoil since you've been gone and they say time heals us but time moves a little to slow for me, but I pray to God every day that it's getting better for the whole family because when you left we lost an angel that held us. It's a grievance and a celebration but I promise to watch my little sister and we are going to make you proud.

Written April 24, 2018 x Your One year Anniversary.
#TWSYA #LoveYouMommy #4/24/17❤️