Mania

Lesson 18: Irreversible

Clemence stood awkwardly at the end of her street, situated on a corner, out of view from any of her neighbours, pacing in small circles as she checked the time on her phone again, knowing it had only been about ten seconds since she last looked.

1.56pm

She wasn't worried about him being late, she knew he would not be a minute late. She was worried about him turning up at all, the minutes ticking closer to 2pm, her heart racing faster, the churning in her stomach stronger and making her whole body vibrate.

"I'm an idiot." She mumbled under her breath, kicking her feet against the dirt, shaking her head. "Why am I doing this to myself?"

She was referring to many things, the overthinking, the paranoia, the stupidity, the absolute senselessness of it all....her teacher.

Her unravelling thoughts were interrupted by the sound of an approaching engine and gravel crunching under tires.

She looked up to see his car, approaching slowly, coming to a gradual halt beside her, the windows dark as she peered in , almost convincing herself it couldn't be him until she saw the outline of his nose and jaw and the dark hair curling to one side.

He turned to her quickly and she blinked, her hand tightening on her bag. He smiled shortly, tugging his head to the side, indicating for her to get in the passenger seat.

She nodded quickly, standing up straight, tightening her ponytail and hurrying to the car door, opening it without looking at him, sliding in without looking at him, settling her legs in, placing her bag on her lap, tightening her hair again, pulling her seatbelt across...all without looking at him.

"Hello Clemence."

His low voice filled every inch of the car, the space swallowed by his words.

"Hi." She took a breath, turning to look at him. He was looking at her, eyes unreadable, face neutral apart from the slight smile, a small tug of the corner of his mouth as he appraised her. "Leon."

He nodded, watching as she looked away quickly, her body jittery, jerking as she bounced her right knee up and down, watching her hand reached up again to play with her hair, tucking pieces behind her ear, catching the blue ink smeared onto fair skin.

"That's really not healthy to have that much ink on your skin you know." He said, tone indifferent, low, the remark being one of concern but the lilt of his voice giving nothing away.

She let out a short nervous laugh, the quiet engulfing her as she watched his form in her peripheral vision. "Right, I'll get that planner."

He didn't say anything, simply watching her and she shifted, telling him the address of her work before falling quiet for a few seconds.

"You really didn't have to come get me you know."

"I know. But I wanted to." He replied simply, giving nothing away still.

She shifted again, turning to peer out the window and check no one was around, anxious to get going, hands gripping the handle of her bag.

Her teacher, her teacher, in the car with her teacher....

"Worried we're going to get caught?" The amusement in his voice caught her off guard and she turned quickly, blinking.

"We're not doing anything." She replied defensively.

He smiled, a full curl and tug of the lips, a rare smile she had not caught many times before as he turned to look forward, hands tightening around the steering wheel, fingers flexing as he reversed the car to turn, nodding to himself.