Amnesia | c.h au

23.

"Are you okay? You seem a bit off" Calum frowned, moving so that he could see Hayley better. He noticed tears well up in her eyes before she shook her head, letting out a deep breath.

"Calum, I need to go" She said quietly, and Calum just looked at her, confused.

"Where? I can drive you, if you want. I mean, it's late, but if it can't wait until tomorro-"

"No. No, Calum, I need to-" Hayley spoke, her voice breaking as she stood up. She ran a hand through her hair and looked away from Calum, knowing that looking at him would only make this so much harder. "Calum I'm at the most opportunistic part of my life right now, and I'm scared that if I don't do what I want to do now, that I will never get around to it. I want to stay, I really do, because I love you so much and you're not only the greatest guy I've ever been with, you're one of the greatest people I've ever met, which is why I need to go. I won't be able to live with myself if I stay here.

'I just- I don't want to end up resenting you and myself because I didn't take the risks I needed to take. I love you, so so so much, and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I need to do it. I have to, I have to do this for me, and I hope you can understand that. You've done nothing wrong, okay? You were perfect, you're perfect, and you're going to make some girl that really deserves it feel so amazing one day. She isn't going to walk away like I'm going to, and I wish that girl was me but I'm afraid that I just can't do that. Please, just promise you won't forget me" Hayley said, tears streaming down her face and bringing her makeup down with it.

Calum didn't really know what to say. He was in shock.

"Yo- No. No, you can't just leave. You can't. What about us? You're just going to leave me?" Calum was desperate, and he stood to his feet as well, gripping at his short hair for dear life.

"I have to. Please, don't make this any harder than it already is"

"I'm not just going to give up and let you walk out"

"You have to, Calum. I need you to. Please, just let me go" Hayley pleaded. She stepped forward, tears all over her face, and she grabbed Calum's head, attaching their lips one last time, before she pulled away and started walking towards the door, still facing Calum with her fingers pressed to her lips as she tried to memorise the way he felt, the way he tasted.

Then, she turned, and walked straight out the door, closing it softly behind her, and it signified so much more than just her shutting a door.

//

Looking at her, just being this close to her, was enough to knock the air straight out of Calum's lungs.

All he could smell was her, and just looking at her lips was enough for him to be able to taste her again, and he could hear her ragged breaths, and she was there.

She was just there and Calum didn't know what to do.

Her face was less than 40cm away from his, and their bodies would be touching if one of them leaned in only slightly, and Calum was captivated just like every other time.

"How've you been?" Hayley asked, playing with her black jeans.

"Absolutely fucking terrible," Calum admitted through a breathy laugh, "What about you?"

"I-I don't really know, to be quite honest," Hayley said, shaking her head at herself. She had planned to lie to Calum, tell him that everything was great and she was happy with her life and her choices but she couldn't lie. Not to him.

"How's Tom?" He asked, barely being able to get the words out.

"Uh, he's-" Okay, now she was stuck, because she couldn't possibly tell her ex-boyfriend that her new boyfriend really wasn't great at all. So, this time she had to lie, or at least pick out her truths, "-good. He's good,"