It Had To Be You | ✔

chapter 1

I stared at the empty, dark ceiling ahead of me. Unable to sleep, I decided to drown myself in the sorrow I felt.

4:30 am

I tried to think of anything else, but the pain in my abdomen was scorching that it made it impossible for me to drift my mind into something else.

And if I were to drift it to something else, it wouldn't be fun either. Beatings, abuse, torture, and pain all seem to be in the same genre, but with different levels, and I happen to have the privilege to experience all of them.

5:00 am

What was I suppose to do? The last time I've been brave enough to speak for myself was so far down my memory lane I can't even remember it.

Probably a year ago? Definitely a no, I've stopped trying for more than years, I doubt I had the courage to speak up for myself last year.

It's funny when I think about it, a once cheerful girl—who made everyone happy turned out to be someone like me.

A perfect image of a girl who had a perfect family soon started to crumble piece by piece, because of a reason I never understood nor knew.

I wish I had at least a little bit of information and understanding as to how my life ended up like this, it was unfair but knowing at least that can make my life a little bit better.

But everyone around me thought otherwise.

5:30 am

That's my que. I effortlessly closed the annoying alarm clock when I heard it ding. It was time to get ready for another day of me trying to live a life.

Another sleepless night was no different from the past. If you were wondering, this is what I would call normal.

I stood up from this old bed because no matter how much I needed rest, I still missed the feeling of doing something useful, it made me feel important somehow.

I sighed as I stretched my arms upwards and a smile spreaded across lips. I've been so negative with myself that I somehow laughed at it.

I'm weird, fight me.

I headed my way towards the small bathroom inside my room as I wanted to stare at my reflection. And boy I wish I could say that it looked pretty.

It was hideous. My face was covered with bruises and it was no different from my body.

I probably have a  broken rib and I seriously didn't know what was wrong with my abdomen. I sighed as I thought about how this would've been a bitch to cover up.

I took my clothes off and went inside the shower, trying to remove the horrible and disgusting feeling I felt towards my it.

I wanted it to join the water as it casdaced down my body and into the drain but as always, it never happened.

Maybe one day it will. A person can only dream right?

I quickly hurried my time in the shower realizing that I didn't want to get caught up in his morning routine. He usually wakes up around 6:30 and I still had a lot of time but considering that I still had to cover up my bruises and make him breakfast, I was walking on thin ice.

I took a towel and wrapped it across my fragile body, hugging my figure with it. I wrapped another one on my hair as I picked what clothes I wanted to wear today.

My closet consisted of cheap thrift store hand-me-downs and I didn't complain, well I do get bullied for not being fashionable though, I didn't mind.

After imagining myself having tons of clothes, I just picked a yellow pastel sweatshirt and some pair of jeans.

I then took my make up and started covering up the visible bruises across my exposed skin.

I needed to work to provide money for myself and when i realized that the beatings got worst, I needed some way to cover it up. I had no choice but to buy all this makeup, ended up spending 70 dollars for all of this and it felt rewarding and regretful at the same time.

After spending a lot of time on applying my makeup, I quickly removed the towel from my hair and started to comb it.

"bloody hell, I just washed this hair! Why is it in knots so early in the day?!" I complained as I looked at the time. Only 20 minutes till he wakes up and I won't risk having an encounter with him so I just brought the comb down with me while I started to prepare his breakfast.

After 10 minutes, I managed to cook some eggs and bacon for him while I had nothing. I quickly wore my shoes and took my bag and bolted out of this  hell like place.

I looked back at the house not even wanting it to be somewhere near there. That house used to be amazing with my mom but like everything else in life, it was only temporary