Better Than Me

Chapter 7

chapter notes: sorry it took a while for me to update! i hope you enjoy this chapter though. it's getting juicy.

cover credit to @payton._.taylor on instagram!

-floof

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In a few days time, it was the photo shoot for the magazine. Dan was admittedly a little nervous for the occasion. The biggest things he had done for the Gay UK Eighteen Plus magazine and website was review a toy sent to him (which sucked, but he lied for his career's sake) and be on the side of a spread for being #1 in the 'twink' category for a solid six weeks. Comparatively, this was huge.

This time around, he was going to be in an actual photo shoot. Expensive cameras and lights all focused on Dan and the surrounding scene. Fancy backdrops, large props, more people in the porn industry like him. People who were far more experienced than him. It was intimidating.

This also was one of the few big things Dan was able to do right now since he had been denying collaborations with other actors in respect for Phil. They had wanted him to shoot a video with many other actors, but Dan had denied them all. Phil, who didn't even know Dan did all this, was still too important, and just in case he did find out, at least Dan wouldn't physically be sharing his body with anyone else. Dan had some boundaries and morals.

Sometimes he questioned the difference between physical sharing and just sharing his body to the internet; if either were better than the other, but pushing it aside and praying for it to not ever pop into his head was his best solution, he just didn't want to lose Phil. He hoped he was doing the right thing, even though he was blatantly lying just a little bit.

Dan played with his hair in the mirror, using gel to adjust it perfectly. He was wearing clothes that were easy to get out of, and a pair of candy cane patterned boxers for the occasion. He'd shaved, too - being afraid they wouldn't let him model without doing so for some reason. Had emailed Alex from the magazine company that he was arriving, he picked up his stuff, shoved it into a backpack, and began his long, confusing journey to the building.

The studio was a little way outside of London, which was good, considering Dan did not want anyone to recognize him on the way (at least when it came to his Tesco coworkers, but he was mostly concerned about Phil.) The ride on public transit there could have been worse than it was. It was just busy and bustling, but Dan stayed on his phone the whole time.

Once Dan arrived, he was greeted by a man who seemed like he was in charge. He had a full brunette but graying beard and looked pretty buff to Dan's eyes, but was well dressed in a suit.

"Dan! It's nice to see you, I'm Alex," the man introduced himself, reaching to shake Dan's hand. Oh good, a face to the man he had been emailing. He awkwardly smiled at his tightly gripped handshake.

"Nice to meet you," Dan said.

"We already have a few scenes set up. We have some ideas for poses for you to do if you'd like to take a look at them. We had someone do some brief sketches for you," Alex said and handed Dan an open notebook.

At the top of the open page read "Dan Howell" in scribbly letters, and there were numbered sketches of poses. One seemed to be him laying on his tummy, his feet in the air behind him. The drawing was writing on a piece of paper on the floor and a dream cloud was over his head.

Another couple of poses were mostly innocent, like him lying across what looked like a sleigh, or opening gifts, but when Dan flipped the page he saw the more explicit ones. Poses where he was on all fours, ass facing the camera, or what seemed to be a tribute to his most popular online photo - him nude in a pile of teddy bears.