Better Than Me

Chapter 22

chapter notes: hello everyone! can you believe that btm turns 1 year old tomorrow? (august 18)

i could make a video (was probably gonna do that when btm's done though) but THANK YOU ALL SM FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT! since most of you are younger than me i just want to say i love you all my precious children! and then for the people that aren't i still love you too :)))

what a journey it's been so far! so many reads/comments/favorites/etc. and i am so grateful for each and every one. even if you just opened my fic but didn't end up liking it, that's okay, i still appreciate you giving me the chance! your feedback means the world to me, you guys. it brings an uncontrollable smile on my face every time i read a comment and i love that i can positively impact your day.

having said that, i want to inform you guys who may not know: my instagram account, dykehowell (the original floofdjh) was deleted for some reason and i don't know why. so rip og floof 4/1/18 - 8/6/19. i'm haus.of.howell on instagram right now but i'm changing it to floofdjh again as soon as i can. it makes me kinda sad bc it lowkey makes me even less confident to upload yt videos (which i will do by this time next year, it's a goal) now that my support community "platform" is gone. idgaf about the numbers, but i liked having them to have a lot of like, friends and supporters? idk

a part in this chapter ib fakephantexts + a scene from glee apparently??

want to remind everyone that the people in this fic are CHARACTERS. yes, dan and phil are based on real life in some ways, but dan's family is NOT how i perceive them in real life, and i don't want anyone to think i'm "exposing" anyone or trying to be invasive and/or offensive. they are just characters in a story, not trying to force anything. thanks

a really awkward side note: i was gonna show you guys how i imagine dan's dad looking in this fic (an actor) but i looked it up and he's a registered sex offender so never mind lmfao

sorry this one is only 4k words :((
the next one has 7.6k!

-floof

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"Watch where you're going, mate!"

"Sorry!" Dan called as he sprinted through the train station, his heavy backpack weighing down his shoulders. He practically catapulted himself into the train car as the doors closed and he found his seat. Feeling everyone staring at him, he awkwardly cleared his throat and got settled, fixing his hair.

If he would've just gotten out of bed fifteen minutes earlier, he wouldn't have had to run to the train as if he were desperate to go back home. He wasn't.

He had spent fifteen minutes debating whether or not he should add another lie on top of the ever growing pile and skip out on going, but whatever, it was fine, he was just going to get through it and be back home in five days. The fact was that he shouldn't have stared at the ceiling for fifteen extra minutes and that was that.

Dan didn't even know why he had waited this morning, as well as the many times the day before. The silence after Phil left, spacing out in the bathtub, the hesitance to finish his packing, and the existential crisis as he waited to fall asleep, stalling from closing his eyes until he couldn't keep them open anymore. He wondered if he should even try to hide the fact he didn't want to be there when he got home, or if it would be so blatantly obvious anyway that there was no point.

Picking the fuzz off of his fingerless gloves was luckily preventing him from biting his nails or scratching his skin from nerves. He read over his ticket, the reality fully hitting him that it was December 29th, the day he was going back to visit Wokingham.

Wokingham, Wokingham, Wokingham. A strange thing to process.

At least it was a set date, a day he knew he had awareness of. He knew what was going to happen, for the most part, and how to brace himself for it.