Better Than Me

Chapter 2

chapter notes: thank you so much for supporting this fic! it already has 418 reads, 46 votes, and 16 comments on wattpad, 28 kudos on ao3, and 34 notes on tumblr (all as i'm writing this) which is crazy!!! thank you to everyone giving compliments and feedback, it really motivates me to keep writing.

another thing i'd like to mention is thank you to @star.eyed.howell on instagram, they won the cover "contest". i love their cover and chose it because it was the best fitting. thank you to everyone who entered, all of the covers were beautiful and creative and if i could use all of them i would. i've decided to use the ones i didn't pick as chapter photos, and this one is made by your_.daily_.phan_.trash on instagram. i'll try to use everyone's for a chapter photo eventually!

again, thank you for supporting better than me, enjoy this chapter! i love hearing you guys' feedback, so don't hesitate to dm me or anything.

with love, floof <3

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Dan grumbled to himself as his phone alarm went off. He tried to cover his ears with the pillow but its fluff failed to block out the obnoxious ringing. He stuck his hand out to grab his phone, just about to hit stop when he read October 19th - date w/ Phil <3.

He smiled at his alarm and turned it off, hopping out of bed quickly, his brain cluttered with excitement and anxiety as he rushed around his apartment for everything he needed in preparation for the date.

He took a quick but thorough shower, making sure he smelled nice. After his shower, he brushed his teeth about three times, applied deodorant and cologne, straightened his hair, added gel, and parted his fringe perfectly. Dan chose a white button-up shirt and black jeans at first, trying them on in the mirror. He decided his appearance was too formal, so he rushed to find another shirt. A while after shuffling through his entire closet, he chose a grayish black t-shirt to go with the pants instead.

To his surprise, he was about an hour early getting ready. He double checked that he completed everything he needed to, and sat on his couch, waiting for a time closer to two o'clock. Dan checked his phone and saw Phil had texted him.

Phil: I'm so excited to see you!

Was he really? Dan just seemed so boring compared to Phil. Phil's Tinder photos included adorable photos of him with his friends and family while Dan's were all awkward selfies. Phil was twenty-two, had graduated university, had the closest of bonds with his family, and had an impeccable emo haircut that Dan would kill to have. Phil seemed like he had it all, while Dan was taking a gap year, doing everything he could to avoid law school.

And, Dan did porn.

Dan had opened up to Phil a bit about his life over text throughout the past week or so, about his family, favorite things, and his job at Tesco, but he had failed to mention he did porn. He was still trying to seem wholesome and didn't want to lose Phil so early simply because he liked to film himself masturbating. What would Phil think? And how was he supposed to casually segue into that?

He can't just say "By the way, I show off my ass on camera for a living". Phil only knew about his part-time job, and that's all Phil was going to know about, for now. So what if the guilt ate Dan alive the longer he tried to hide it? Dan would rather have Phil like him with shame eating ravenously at his gut like a zombie than Phil be mad at him and Dan be forever alone for the rest of his life. And having to give up doing what he loved? No way. He finally replied to Phil's text: