10 things I want to do before I die

2 "Apologize to all Serpents for how I treated them"

It was hard for me to go home and pretend in front of my daughter that nothing had happened. I went into the living room, where I threw my coat on the chair.

"Mom, where have you been?" Betty went into the living room, wearing a bathrobe. She looked sleepy. Without a word, I approached her and hugged her tightly.

"I'm sorry," I replied and stroked her cheek. "I was at the doctor, and then I met with Hermione. I forgot to call you"

"I'm not angry with you, Mom, but I'm scared that something happened to you." Betty looked at me suspiciously, and I just nodded.

"I know and I apologize," I replied. "I am very tired today"

"Go to sleep, mum." Betty said, and I smiled weakly. I picked up my purse and cloak and kissed my daughter's forehead.

"Goodnight, Betty," I whispered and went to my bedroom. I locked the door, went into the bathroom and undressed naked. After a short while standing on cold plates, I put on a black nightgown and went to bed.

I didn't want to touch my breasts because I knew that in the left I could feel a lump that didn't give me peace. I was still waiting for a re-examination of the blood, ultrasound examination and a number of other tests which were waiting for me.

I closed my eyes and lay down on my bed. I covered myself tightly with my quilt and hid my face in the pillow as tears began to float on my cheeks. I started crying, biting my pillow so that Betty wouldn't hear it.

I found myself in a terrible position. It was hard because I kept thinking about when I got a call from my doctor to come to the next research. It was so hard for me that my stomach started to ache and I felt nauseated. I sighed loudly and quickly got out of bed. I ran to the bathroom and dropped to my knees next to the toilet. I started to vomit, feeling all stress leave my body.

I couldn't hold this tension in my body. I had enough of myself. When I finished vomiting, I rinsed off the water and went to the mirror. I looked at my reflection and started shaking my head.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I said my thoughts aloud and put my hands in my hair. "Why?" I pulled my hair with all my strength to drown out the stress and pain in my heart.

I took a deep breath and began to cry. I couldn't hold back my emotions anymore.

I released my hair and ran out of the toilet. I stood in the middle of the room and began to breathe heavily, feeling a stabbing pain in my left breast.

I grabbed my aching place and began to breathe more deeply. I wanted to go to the bedside table on which I had a phone call, but I didn't have that much strength.

I wanted to call FP and tell him that something was wrong with me. I felt dizzy and fell to the floor. I grabbed my bed at the last moment and tightened my hand on the sheets.

What was happening to me? Was it just stress? Was it the tumor?

I was afraid of what might happen to me in the next few minutes. I closed my eyes and embraced myself. I dug my nails into my arms, trying to calm down.

I started humming one of the lullabies that I was singing when my daugther was little girl.

I lost a count of time. I didn't know how long I spent sitting on the floor, but all the tension and pain disappeared from my body. I slowly got up from the floor and sat on the bed. I took a deep breath and fell on the soft pillows, closing my eyes. After a while I fell asleep, tired of today.

~~~~~
I woke up rested in the morning and immediately went to the kitchen to get Betty breakfast. I knew she had an important test at school today, so I wanted my daughter not to be stressed. I put a jug of orange juice on the table in the dining room and toast with ham and cheese. I knew that Betty loves toast.