"Jen, I'm there"
I took a deep breath. It was really happening. I was going to see her, and I looked like a total mess, my eyes red from too much crying. Saying that I was nervous would be an understatement, I was absolutely terrified. But I knew that if I didn't have someone by my side right now, I would end up doing something stupid. So I quickly whipped my tears away, and I opened the door, revealing a very worried Lisa. Shit, she's even more beautiful in real life.
As I opened my mouth to say something, explain my sudden change of mood, I felt her arms wrapped tightly around me. And that's when I let everything go, the tears that stopped coming out of my eyes minutes ago were back, my body trembling in pain.
I was a mess.
"Jen, It's going to be fine" I heard her soft voice as she let go of me. I was about to complain, already missing the warmth that she brought me, when she grabbed my hand and dragged me towards my bed, making us both sit next to each other.
We stayed silent for a while, with her softly stroking my back, waiting for me to calm down a bit.
"Talk to me Jen..."
I took a deep breath. I was about to reveal some of my deepest fears and insecurities to a stranger. But it was so much easier that way, and Lisa was the only person that showing me she cared about me.
"It's kinda complicated" I laughed, for some reasons.
"take your time" She smiled, and gosh, I swear her smile could light up the whole world.
"I dated this guy a while ago, we uh, we were good friends" I stopped for a second, lisa was looking at me, waiting for me to continue "One day he told me he liked me, and all of my friends were telling me I should date him, because he was cute, nice, not that bad looking" I shrugged "I didn't really liked him that way, but I dated him anyway, because I thought it was the best thing to do. We stayed together for a while, my parents loved him, everyone thought we looked good together, he was nice to me, you know. I thought I liked him too" Lisa nodded, still listening to me patiently "But after some time, we started to fight, and I just realized that this was not.. love, I guess. It's stupid. But I was trapped, he started to become kinda abusive, well, not physically, but always bringing me down, making me believe that I needed him etc" Lisa clenched her fists "It affected me badly, made me a total mess... But I realized how wrong it was and I escaped, dumped him after almost a year of dating."
"I'm proud of you" She said softly and I smiled.
"It was hard, I'm not gonna lie. But I was finally free, already starting to get better and stuff. But now, he's back, and everything that hurt me is too. I feel so fucking bad Lisa, I feel like pure shit. I don't know why he has that affect on me, why he is able to bring out all of those dark shit in me.."
"Jennie..." I didn't notice that I was crying again, until I felt lisa's thumb on my cheek, whipping away a tear.
"I'm sorry, it's stupid. I know"
"It's not, not at all"
I was in Lisa's arms again without even remembering that we moved, but I didn't mind it. It felt so good to have someone by my side.
"I'm here for you Jen. I swear. I can be an idiot sometime, and I know that we haven't known each other for a long time, but I care about you a lot. You're worth so much more than that..."
"Thank you Lisa"
"If that piece of shit of a guy ever bother you again, tell me. I'll make sure he leaves you alone."
I let go of her and looked at her straight in her eyes.
"I don't want you to hurt him, Lisa"
"I won't, Jen, I swear. Even if I really want to. But I'll protect you from him."
I didn't say anything, only went back into her arms. Soon, we were both lying on my bed, my head resting on her chest and her hand softly stroking my hair. I finally felt eased, like the world couldn't get to me anymore, like I was safe.
"Please stay"
"I wasn't planning on leaving"
"thank you Lisa"
And I fell asleep, feeling at peace for the first time in forever.
