Finally found you

Part 18

Manvi’s pov

Sometimes nothing I do make sense to me. Mom calls me moody, janvi (my sister) calls me unpredictable and my friends, well they have stopped caring. After I left high school and moved to London without any notice, I lost touch with most of them except for Jeevs. I joined Columbia University later but now I want to transfer to a different school. I don’t know why but I feel like going to Cornell. Not that Cornell will be any different than Columbia- for some strange reason however my heart is set on it.

“Manviii do you have to go?” Neal, one of my closest friends here asked.

“Yea babe its not too late to change your mind.” Jane, my other friend tried to convince me too.

I wanted to tell them that I’m sorry and that I will miss them too but all I managed to say was, “Sorry folks gotta go. Road trip to Cornell soon?”

Both of them gave me a quick hug and promised to come visit me soon. Some of my other close friends too came to wish me safe trip and after my goodbyes I was on the road, off to Cornell University.

Frankly speaking I was just glad to be out of there- I hate goodbyes.

Beep Beep.

“Yes mom I’m fine.” Problem with my mom is either she does not call me for days or she calls me HUNDRED times a day. I would rather she did the former. “I’m driving. Talk to you later?” Muttering something about ‘too stubborn to handle’ she hung up on me.

I love to drive, it is peaceful and it gives me time to think- more like analyze things. Cornell seems nice enough and I already got into the cheerleading team there so that is a plus. The coach seemed welcoming, well at least his emails seemed that way. I wonder what the kids are like. The cheerleading team in Columbia is so nice, we were like family almost. I suddenly get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. What the hell am I doing? Why am I transferring to Cornell? I had such great friends at Columbia. What if the kids at Cornell don’t like me? Worse what if they detest me?

Okay I’ve lost it. Since when do I care about what others think of me!? I am Manvi I don’t give a rat’s ass about anyone else’s opinion. If they don’t like me then that is their problem. Cornell what do you have in store for me? Whatever it is, Manvi is ready.

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Cara brought me to this little seating area by the volleyball court where there were bunch of guys and girls hanging out. I swear a girl is literally fondling a guy and he seems least interested in the girl. Reading his body posture it seems like he just wants her to get off him. Sometimes I want to roll my eyes at guys like these. I mean seriously dude if she is bothering you then just ask her to move. Don’t sit there acting all cool and pretending like you don’t enjoy her attention. Boys *rolls eyes*

Thanks to this arrogant dude with a really nice hair I missed half of the names Cara told me. Whatever. Before Cara could introduce me to the slut in question she arrogantly raised her palm and introduced herself. Something along the lines of, “I’m Sara and he is the captain of our soccer team. Off limits for you.” Bloody hell! I would NEVER in my wildest dreams even look at a guy who sits in public fondling a chick. Eww. I have self-respect and I HATE guys like these. All they can do is break your heart; speaking from experience here. Ahhh hell no. Not again Manvi!!! It has been years, DON’T let yourself think of him. He is not worth it. Focus on Sara.

I think focusing on Sara was THE biggest mistake of my life because what I saw next I’m sure will haunt me for the rest of my existence. There was my own personal demon straddling this slut on his lap. “Manvi.” He said my name before Cara could and everybody looked at him in confusion. Why? Why of all the places on the planet did he have to be here? Why did I have to come here? It took me years to hate him but hearing him say my name I felt that wall I had built up starting to crumble. I hate myself right now. Why does he still affect me? I can’t even think of his name because no matter how much I deny, it hurts.

Like I wasn’t already hurting, like I wasn’t already holding onto threads and living like a crazed woman, like I hadn’t already suffered enough, he decided to make my already miserable self even more miserable. He grabbed this rude chick sitting on his lap and made out with her in front of me. He then pulled her up and took her to his room.

I can’t believe I was hurting all these years for this guy. I always felt guilty for leaving without a good bye but I didn’t want him to see how much it hurt me. I didn’t want him to feel guilty for unknowingly hurting me. I was the one attracted to him- it wasn’t his fault. Somewhere deep down I thought he would miss me but I guess it was just my subconscious making me feel better. He probably didn’t even think about me for a second.

Right in front of my eyes he took this girl to his room.

I have never admitted this to anyone, heck not even to myself but after seeing him today I know now why I never settle in one place. Every six months I keep switching schools. Mom is tired of me and she can’t for the life of her understand what is wrong with me. After seeing him today I realized that I switch my location so often to keep busy, to keep myself from thinking of him. Switching schools needs a lot of work- you need to adapt to the new place, get acquainted with the new system which keeps you busy and away from the past. Yes I moved so much to avoid thinking of one person only to land at his doorstep. How cliché.

SONG, Clarity-Zedd: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZTs78crINU