They say, time heals everything.
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"We need to think about this. Are we staying here? Are we going to move back to Charming? I don't know what's going on with the club, and I can't just up and leave them right n-"
"What's even in Charming for me, for us, Jax? We're happier and safer here. I don't have to worry about drive-by shootings, croweaters, being plotted against. We're finally somewhere normal. The kids love this place, and so do I." I cut him off, getting into the dreaded conversation about Charming.
"Babe, we can just go back for a weekend. Take them through, have a small outing, I don't know. I still have to go and get some more clothes and figure out what I'm doing." I sigh, wishing that he would've instantly decided that his family is before his club. "Besides, Wendy keeps asking about Abel. When you moved, you took her kid with y-"
"Abel is more my son than hers, Jackson, don't you dare." I hiss at him, not allowing him to tell me that Wendy is Abel's true mother. "It's too late to make it right. If she wanted to see him, she has always had my contact information. I won't keep making excuses for a woman who puts her biological son on the back burner."
Jax sighs, rubbing his eyes and then running a hand through his hair. "I was just sa-"
"I'll kill her if she even tries to exist in the same room as that boy. He's fully aware of the woman she is, and what she was willing to let go of when we moved." I tell him defensively, getting protective over Abel. "And what do I tell the kids about Gemma? We go back, and people are going to mention her. She held a gun to my head the day of our going away party. She tried to kill me, and she would've. There was no loyalty, no passion, just greed, and selfishness. When do we tell them the truth about this woman? The woman who murdered Tara, who almost killed me? They're going to hate her."
I let out another sigh, "I made my bed and I sleep like a baby. I knew exactly what I was getting into, and you know what, I let you murder, I let you sling guns, drugs, whatever you decided. I never said shit. I have no regrets, but it'll be a sad, sad day when these kids realize the truth of Charming, and the truth behind SAMCRO." I tell Jax, not wanting to be guilted anymore to go back to Charming. "I'm not going back."
Jax just stares at me, watching my chest heaving from the amount of adrenaline and anger pumping through me. "I'm not going to make you do anything, Al, you know that. You know I'll never force you."
I just chuckle softly, shaking my head. "You know, they say that time heals everything, but I'm still waiting, Jax. I'm still waiting to be healed from your mother trying to kill me, or the times you've cheated on me, Wendy, being kidnapped, leaving my job, the time you fought my colleague, oh or Joe. It's just, it's never-ending, and I refuse to put these kids in harms way. If you care about them, about us, you'll understand and realize that this is our best and safest bet." I rub my temple, getting a headache from this. "Plus I'll be forced to see all of the women you've slept with." I shake my head, "I don't know Jax, I don't even know how this is going to go. How can I take this seriously and know for a fact that you won't cheat on me again, or bail?"
"Al, come on." Jax sighs, running a hand through his blonde hair. "I can't let you go again..." he says softly. "You know how many women I've slept with over the last four years? Hundreds. Maybe more, I don't know. I barely see their faces. I married Wendy because I was lonely, I married Tara because I finally found this connection, even if it was shit. It was all some sad time-out, me being tired of the endless disconnect. Al, when I'm inside someone, there's only once face I see. When you came home all those years ago, it was like some sign to me, like my past coming around to give me another shot to do this different; better, to have the balls and to be with the woman of my dreams, and now I've paid the price because I fucked up that second, third and fourth shot." he tells me, getting emotional over the thought of his mistakes. "I'll be damned if I don't make this right, and if I don't give it my all. It's what you deserve, and it's what I'm going to give you. I don't care if I have to isolate myself from Charming or the club, I'll do it for you."
