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In 17 days my ex is gonna rid herself from this world.....and....there's nothing I can do about it......nothing I say.....nothing I do....will ever work......so what the fuck is the point of even trying.....I try be strong.....I try to keep a smile on my face.....but I can't.....I just can't.....I'm tired of pretending to be strong......I'm tired of pretending to be happy.....I'm tired of trying so hard to please people and making people happy......all I do is hurt people.....and when I try to help people.....nothing fucking works.....I'm so fucking useless and pathetic.....all I wanna do right now is just.....hide in a hole....curl into a ball.....and fall into eternal sleep.....even if I never wake up.....no one will care.....
