My Feelings (Part 2)

109~

I just found out I've been surrounded by lies.....one of the youth, that I thought I was kind of cool with, from the church I go to said these thing to me

"Josiah don't like u stay tf away from him do look at him don't say hello or nothing he don't like u and same goes for me I don't like u"
"If u didn't know we were nvr cool a lot of ppl that u call ur fWhy riend don't like u because u talk too much and do the most....Now leave us alone"
"Zora u blinded by it ur the most annoying person in our group u talk too much no one talk to u that much u keep pushing up your self on people"
"Ur playing ur self everyone think ur annoying nobody fucks with u"
"Well y'all not cool and keep your problems to yourself"
"No one likes u leave me and joshia alone"
I'm really mad and upset right now and I lowkey wanna cry, idk who to believe....I don't want what happened in middle and 9th grade to happen again with everyonelleaving me left and right.....I don't want this.....then my best friend proved his words to be true Zora. It's true. No one likes. No one in the group well my friend group does anyway. They were all trying to pretend to be nice and be your friend cuz I told them too
and i didn't want to tell you this cuz I know it would hurt your feelings
but everyone thinks you talk to much because, well.......you do.
And when you leave they talk about you. I tell them not to but they do, and you're just blinded by it, why do you think no one wants to tell you your secrets?
You can be annoying sometimes I will admit. But Idk if what ross is saying is true. Because Josiah has never said anything bad about you, it's mostly just Ross and Alex who have. And Alex doesn't even say anything that bad about you. All I've ever heard Amari or Alex say about you that could be considered bad is when they're roasting you. But Idk. Don't cry about it ok........ Just leave Ross be. Imma still talk to Ross and Alex and all of them because I mean, they're my friends. And I don't want anymore Drama in this church. But even if you can't talk to Ross or Josiah anymore you can still talk to the rest of us ok. You still have me and Amari and Alex and Nakayla and Talia and everyone else. But yeah. *sobs* it hurts....it hurts so bad....this whole time I was surrounded by lies....it hurts so fucking bad now she's telling me this... I didn't want you to get hurt. It's just you do talk to much........and even tho you do, I still trust you enough to tell you about my life. And you can always come to me with anything. And I never knew that you would want the ugly truth. I never knew that, If I did I would've been told you. And no matter how much you try to change. Ross is still not going to like, you and you're gonna have to deal with it and move on. I had to do that, but I was lucky enough that he was willing to bury the hatchet with me. They are my friends and they tell me many things. But the moment you came to that church no one liked you. They be nice to you, because they are not cruel ppl. But they thought you were annoying and talked to much from the start. But I was the only one willing to give you a chance, and when I gave you a chance and Actually started to like you, they tried to. And I'm sorry I kept the truth from you. I wanted to protect your feelings, BECAUSE OF HOW emotionally senstive you are. *sobs* idk what to do anymore, and because my family goes there, that means I still have to go there, to be surrounded by THAT