My Brothers Best Friend

Chapter 41 // Broken In Every Sense Of The Word

Annabelle's POV:

Walking home I felt empty. Cold. Broken. The streets seemed duller, the people seemed lifeless and the world seemed drained of colour. I had no clue how I was holding the tears back but my tear stained face and composure were nothing to be proud of. I got home and not checking if my brother or father were home I went straight upstairs to my room, shut the door and collapsed against it. Feeling the cold, sturdy door on my back gave me no sense of comfort as I felt my heart shatter into so many pieces. I had literally been willing to give him my heart for him to just throw it in my face. The tears were falling involuntarily and breathing became harder and harder as the pain just continued.

I stayed this way for a whole. Completely immobilised. Completely fucked over by what I thought was love. I started to question what I'd done wrong? Had I really lived in a shadow? Had I slept with him too soon? Was he just bored of me? What could he see in me when he had girls like Victoria and Elizabeth waiting and wanting him. Ready to commit where I was not. I sunk into bed feeling numb, the pain seemed like it was starting to wear off but I think it was more so the fact that my tired thoughts and salty tears had been mixed together for so many hours that they just needed to rest. Recover whatever was left of my heart and heal the pain, or at least try to make it go away. Even as darkness began to cloud my mind I felt the silent tears still slipping down my face. What had I done wrong?

The alarm that blared the next morning lured me into the false sense that everything was normal, I felt normal. Then it hit me, like an elephant tusk straight to the gut. I felt sick and tired and tired and sick. My eyes were red, sore and puffy and I was too afraid to see the mess that I had become. My brother then began knocking and banging on the door repeatedly but I couldn't make out a single noise or sound as it all sounded muffled because my tired mind refused to focus on anything. It just wanted to implode into darkness, retreat away from reality where it was most comfortable. After a minute I heard him groan and walk away but I just focused on my breathing and calming down. I got dressed in the slowest way possible and went downstairs to see Matt and Danny talking. I looked like crap. Felt like crap. And I dared anyone to bloody comment. I think the boys heard the mental threat as they didn't ask any questions.

The car ride was more than awkward, I could see that Danny had questions whizzing around in his mind about my mismatched socks or the fact that the top I was currently wearing was a pyjama top but he knew better than to ask me. Matt stayed uncharacteristically quiet which allowed me to smell the fear oozing out of him that I would explode at any second. Getting to school already was painful as I already wanted to be at home in the comfort of my bed. I immediately left the boys as meeting Carter would not only break me even more but looking the mess I did would disappoint me but I did not have anything left in me to try currently. I met Tara in the library and her eyeballs opened about an extra 40% as she began to grill me continuously about what the matter was but I just kept shaking my head. If I said it aloud then it would be all too real for me. Soon she became silent and knew she wasn't going to get her answers for now. She lid a snicker bar across the desk and even though they were my absolute favourite my arms just didn't want to work and I wasn't going to force them to. "You really are sad if you're saying no to a snicker" she commented as the bell for first period went.

Classes were draining, people were draining, school was draining. At lunch at sat in utter silence in the library as I was too afraid that I would encounter Carter in the lunch hall. Tara had called me multiples times and text me countlessly trying to find out where I am but I just wanted to be alone. My mind wandered back to Carter as it always did. I could feel myself slowly getting numb to the thought of Carter. Boys were not the be all and end all. Carter especially. I wanted to drill this into my head, but I couldn't. I was ready to tell him I loved him, like that just rolls off the tongue casually. Damn. This was a big mess I thought as I took a bite out of the cafeteria bought ham sandwich. Last period was slow but the bell ringing was a beautiful sound to say the least. I knew I had a warm bed welcoming me upon arrival home. Beckoning me. Enticing me. Drawing me in. Ready to be wrapped under the warm, soft and safe duvet cove-

"Hey Annabelle" said the deep voice behind me.

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A/N

ahhhhh!! i cant explain to you guys how im drowning in a level homework!!

i remember gcse's when i thought it was a walk in the park and im having mental breakdowns more times then i absorb air into my body for gas exchange. 

how are you guys feeling about the sudden drop of annabelle? was it uncalled for? 

please comment and like because i know some people in this wide world actually like it and its like a warm, fuzzy feeling :) 

Tata for now 

xx