My Brothers Best Friend

Chapter 40 // Disappointment

Annabelle's POV:

I watched Carter walk away and had still been stuck for words. The rest of the school day went slow and when it was time to go home I really felt under the weather. Had I really disappointed him this much? I couldn't say anything because of Danny, I knew how badly he would react and I didn't want to turn his world even more upside down with everything else going on - like with mum. My brain had never felt confusion like this and I didn't know how to play it. Walking home gave me time to think, to plan what I would do and say next to Carter. Then it hit me, what we had was unorthodox and nothing we ever did was planned. That's what made us more fun, more different, more us. I turned and headed in the least expected direction.

The door before me seemed larger and scarier than before but I knocked on it anyway. The two gentle knocks I placed on the door seemed to echo endlessly until it opened and I came face to face with Carter but not Carter. He looked tired, dishevelled and puffy eyed. I immediately felt guilty, was this because of me? I reached my hand out to him and brushed him arm gently with my fingers as I looked at him with pleading eyes and said "Carter I'm sorry I didn't mean for any of this". His tired eyes met mine as he opened the door for me to enter as he said nothing as the silence surrounded us. We walked into his house and the silence was deafening but it was only the silence of the house that was killing me, it was his. I sat on the sofa as he sat opposite me and failed to make eye contact. His breathing was slow and heavy and I honestly felt out of place around him for the first time in my life. Alas, this was my moment to commit, to tell him that I was ready for him, ready for us. "I have something to tell you" we say simultaneously as a small smile is brought to my face but his emotionless plague is still ridden on his face.

He looks up at me briefly as he says slowly, "I think I should start" but I abruptly shake my head in disagreement because if I don't say this now then I really don't think I'll ever have the confidence to later on. "No Carter" I say sternly as he looks up at me from the floor as I continue, "I know that I haven't been straight up with what we are or what we're doing and that you feel like im not committed to you and what we have got going on between us and that I'm hiding in my brothers shadow but this is me stepping out from behind that shadow and telling you that I lo-"

"We need to stop this".

I blinked continuously as I tried to understand the words that had just come out of his mouth but they didn't make sense to me. His interjection caused time to slow down as I felt every heartbeat in my chest pulsate slowly and deeply. "I-what" I stutter incoherently as I feel my eyes tinge and my breathing become shaky. I watched him as he refused to look at me and let silence devour us once more. Speak. Why wouldn't he bloody speak. Say that you were joking, that you were wrong. That this was a joke because of what he said earlier. Anything but those words. I became scared and angry all at once as I stood from the sofa and half shouted at the silence stricken boy "say it again!". The tears were in my eyes and I couldn't do anything about them. His puffy eyes met mine as the tears fell and he stood in unison to me and stepped forward. "I'm sorry but I can't do this" he said reaching out for me but I swatted his hand away. I backed away from him as my ankle caught the sofa behind me and he continued forward.

Then he did something I didn't expect. We were always full of fucking surprises weren't we? He embraced me. Tight and held me close to him and I wanted to revel in it but I stood astounded. What was he playing at? One hand was on my back the other holding my head against his chest as something wet dropped on top of my head and woke me back to life. I snarled into him, "get away from me" as I pushed him away with all my strength. I wiped a tear from my face as I looked at his and saw the tears in his eyes. He shook his head slowly as I tightened my jaw and left without another word.

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A/N

Hey guys!! im back (kind of)! ive been busy lately really trying to catch up on life which was really about wattpad for a long time - eeeeek. 

happy Halloween! kind of my fav time of the year because i love the costumes but hate the clowns. 

here's your trick for Halloween though kiddios. 

TaTa for now

xx