How to be a Bida

Step 6: Realize That You're Not The Heroine...Yet

After four long hours of sitting in class and listening to teachers go on and on about lectures that won't help me file my taxes or start my own business, it's finally lunch time. I could finally put my carefully thought out plans during class hours in action.

I stood up the moment the bell rang and set out to find the lovely couple I've been trying to break up since day one. I tried my best to find them but didn't see a single strand of their hair. Where could they possibly be?

With no luck, I entered the Dance Room in the fine arts department and noted two girls from the dance team standing in front of the mirror fixing their face. I walked past them to get to the change room since I left my bag inside and heard them trash talking Danielle.

"Did you see that plain girl's face during lunch with Tony? God she looked so stupid fawning over him." I heard bitch A said. Oh I have to hear this.

"Tell me about it. She even brought lunch for him, so pathetic." Bitch B replied. "I swear how is she even alive? Her ugly face pisses me off so much."

I heard bitch A cackle and commented how half the boys' population in our school seem to like her which includes bitch B's boy toy. I get it, they're pissed off at Danielle because a.) she's dating the hottest guy in school, b.) despite appearances, she's popular with the boys and c.) she's smart.

I'd hate her too, but I'd never go down these girls' level. If anything, they're pathetic but hey, this proves that Danielle doesn't have the support main roles need to have in order to be victorious.

"She needs get off her high horse and realize she's not good enough for him or anybody."

I agree with that one, I'm the only one suitable for Tony so keep the insults coming. Though I'm sure Danielle would make a cute couple with other guys, just not with my Tony for as long as I exist, there could never be anyone who would look good with my beloved.

"What do you think about the new girl Ria?" Bitch B asked out of nowhere which surprised me putting me on the spot. I didn't think she'd notice me carefully making my way towards the girl change room stealthily.

"Me?" I croaked hating the sound of my voice.

"Don't you think she's annoying too?" Bitch A asked inching her cake-y face close to mine.

I don't think so. I may hate her because of what she is, Tony's first possible serious relationship, but its nothing personal. Under normal circumstances I might even be friends with her.

"She's a kind hearted person," I said without conviction, somewhat scared to say the wrong thing.

"But you are too." Bitch B commented.

Yes, yes I am. I internally smirked feeling smug at her compliment.

"Honestly, everyone would be fine if you start dating Tony. It makes sense. I'm fine with you and Tony just not that plain girl." Bitch A stated with disgust at the mention of Danielle.

And Bree said everyone would loathe me and sympathize with the other girl. Well guess what? I'm still the heroine, the invisible heroine shadowed by the new girl everyone is rooting for. Now if only Tony would see that.

When the two bitches left, I started cackling please with...pleased with what? I suddenly stopped at the realization of finding happiness with other's misfortune. It's not me, I'm not like those two girls. I spotted my reflection in the mirror, my expression frozen and I've never felt so hideous in my entire life until that very moment. What has happened to me? It's like, I don't even know myself anymore. I don't know who is staring back at me in front of the mirror.

In my moment of self realization, the change room door opened and Danielle decided that it's the perfect moment to walk out of it. My eyes widened in surprise while she meekly looked at me.

Capital A-W-K-W-A-R-D, awkward.

"How long have you been there?" I asked knowing full well what the answer is. Isn't this place sound proof? God I hope it is.

"I'm sorry, it was quiet for a long time so I thought everyone left." She apologized when we both know I should be the one apologizing. Guess the room is sound proof to the outside world but not to the change rooms.

Ashamed of what I had become in front of the person I consider to be my rival but don't even come close to, I want nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Take me to Hades, we'd probably have a good time together.

"I should be the one apologizing," I hesitated to say but was glad when the words left. "I-" I took a deep sigh and turned away, wanting to disappear. "I'm going, I'll see you around."

"Wait, Victoria." She called me by my full name again. Damn it, she needs to fix that, no one calls me Victoria. Ever. It's the most horrible crime to commit, punishable by death.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like for some reason you love Tony." She said and she couldn't be any closer to the truth.

"Please call me Ria," I responded. As for her assessment of my emotions, how do I respond without being pathetic?

"You must hate me a lot, I mean if I were in your shoes I know I would. In your eyes, I'm probably the scheming strumpet who stole your beloved. I also know that right now, Tony might like me but it's not strong enough to be a basis for a long lasting relationship. And if ever he realizes that he likes you, I've said it before that I won't hold on to him and I won't harbour any ill feelings towards you." She uttered when I failed to respond to her questions. And she isn't wrong with her assessment. I've obsessed over my hatred for her to the point that I don't even recognize myself anymore.

I really don't want to talk about my feelings for Tony with his current flame, confrontations aren't my thing after all. I mean, if it was, I would have confessed my undying love to Tony a long time ago and saved myself a whole lot of trouble from this emotional roller coaster ride I subjected myself to.

If anything, I was the scheming witch who made it her life mission to get rid of her childhood best friend's girl friend because she wasn't brave enough to do what she needs to. Now I see Bree's point, Danielle is the heroine in her love story with Tony. She earned it. She also seems fit the bill of how a proper heroine should be.

She worries about Tony's well being, tries to understand him, and despite what everyone says she stands by him. And what have I been doing all this time? I've been causing trouble to the very person I cared about the most. I guess that makes her a better heroine.

"I do like Tony, perhaps I even love him but please I don't want to make you feel any guilt or shame for dating him. He accepted you, you have every right to call him yours despite what everyone's opinions. My feelings are mine and mine alone. I don't intend for it to be a burden to anybody." I replied forcing a smile on my face to return her good nature.

Completely forgetting about my purpose for even entering the Dance Room, I turned to leave but was stopped when I felt Danielle's hand on my arm. I turned, glancing at her questioningly.

"Thank you Ria," I heard her say softly with that gentle smile on her face. "For not insulting me. I can see why Tony would hang around you. Those two are right, you are a kind hearted person." She said and gave me a hug while I stand there, unsure of what to do. Then she let go and said her goodbye, leaving me standing there still in shock.

Ha, I really am no match against her. I get it now. I've desperately clung on the idea of being a heroine in Tony's life and when I was blind sided at Danielle's sudden appearance, I reacted childishly. Bree was right all along, I'm no heroine. I've never auditioned, and certainly never tried to be on the stage and yet I claimed to be the heroine.

Danielle on the other hand, took Tony's hand and despite what everyone thinks, continues to bravely stand next to him.

She's the heroine, I'm just a side character that isn't needed anymore when I let countless of opportunities pass thinking I am the heroine all this time.

Ha, what a fool I had been.