Struggles

Part 7

Your pov

I gulp and squeeze the reins of my horse as we exit the walls. Today was the day of my first expedition. Me, Ezra, and Mia were placed in a group just a couple hundred feet away from Levi, Erwin, Petra, and Hange. I look around and take in the beautiful scenery. For miles upon miles there was just empty fields filled with trees. It almost made me forget about the titans. "Oi! Brat! Be safe out there." Levi says as his horse rides past mine. He continues to look behind himself to make eye contact with me. I nod. "Y/n come on we can't break up our formation this early." Mia calls to me with Ezra shaking his head beside her. I whip the reins and my horse starts to run with theirs. "What's with you and Corporal Levi y/n?" Ezra asks briefly glancing at me. "Ezra! Leave her alone!" Mia says before I could even think of a response. "No! I wanna know! If he's thinking about trying to get with y/n I obviously need to speak with him! She's too good for him!"

~time skip~

It'd been around an hour and a half since we'd left the walls. We'd only came across two titans. A five meter class titan and a ten meter class. With the three of us it was incredibly easy to take down the five meter but we had trouble with the ten meter titan. I look up towards the sky and see a blue flare. (Before y'all yell at me I couldn't remember what the retreat flare was so it's gonna be blue.) "We're retreating already?" I ask looking at Mia and Ezra. They both shared a overjoyed look. "We can get married tomorrow!" Mia exclaims as she turns her horse around. Ezra guides his horse to hers and kisses Mia's cheek. "I can't wait for you to be Mrs Jones." Ezra smiles a huge smile. I'm so happy for the two of them. They both deserve to be happy.

I look at my two best friends with a genuine smile. Only for it to change into a look of horror as a titans hand grabs Ezra off his horse. "Ezra!" I scream in horror trying to use my gear to get to the titan but it wasn't working. "Ez!" Mia screams jumping off her horse and maneuvering to the titan. I jump off my own horse and run as fast as I could to them. I stand frozen in fear as the titan grabs hold of Mia. Hers and Ezras screams pierce the air around me. I can't move at all. I watch the titan rip off Ezras arm with its mouth. "Y/n don't stand there do something!" Ezra screams as the titan bites his head off. His blood covers my body. Mia screams even louder in horror. "Ezra! Baby no!" The titan then bites off Mia's legs. Their blood is splattered everywhere. It's on the trees, the rocks, the titan, and me.

I finally get the courage to try and use my gear again. I press the triggers and I lift off the ground. I stick the wires into the titans shoulders. "Y-You monster!" I scream as tears fall down my cheeks. My blades slice anywhere and everywhere they can. I'd sliced its fingers off that we're holding Mia. Screaming once again I slice into the monsters nape. "Die die die!" The titan falls to the ground and I rush over to Mia. Despite the blood covering her body and mine I was able to not throw up. I scream once again in horror and drop to my knees in front of Mia.

"Y/n." Mia chokes out bringing her hand up to my face. "It's ok! You're gonna be ok! We're gonna get you back to the walls and make sure you're fine!" I say searching for my flare gun to shoot a flare singling for help. "Y/n take my engagement ring." She slides the ring off her pale finger and holds it out to me. "No no no! You're gonna hold onto that Mia." She sticks it in my shirt pocket with a soft smile on her face. Tears are rolling down mine and her face. "Please y/n..I want my last moments to be peaceful." "These aren't your last moments!" I rip off my cape and tie it around her lower body. "You're gonna be fine! I-I-I just have to stop the bleeding!" "Remember us y/n." Mia's eyes close.

"No! Mia! Wake up!" I start to do cpr on her chest while sobbing. "Please! You and Ezra are gonna get married! Wake up damn it!" I sob even louder. I knew she wasn't coming back but I was still going to try. My cries grow louder and louder by the minute. I look to my left and see Ezras lifeless body on the ground with his head missing. "Ez...no. Please...c-come back. I need you guys..Julia needs you." My body gives out and I just sob in a puddle of blood in front of both of them. "You two can't die..I need both of you more than anything." My two best friends were gone and I couldn't do anything about it. I did nothing! I just stood there!

I sob for what feels like forever until I feels a pair of arms wrap about my waist and pull me away. "No! Leave me here! I'm not leaving them! They're coming back!" I yell opening my eyes to see Levi. His face shows a worried look. I collapse in his arms and let him carry me to his horse. He gently sets me on top of the horse and gets on himself. "I-I just stood there Levi..I couldn't do anything!" I was facing Levi on his horse so I put my head on his chest. "I didn't do anything Levi..and now they're gone because of me."

(Y'all I cried while writing this)

~time skip~

My head is still in Levis chest as we ride into HQ. His left arm is wrapped around my side so I wouldn't fall off. My sobs had gotten quieter but my tears were still flowing as much as they were an hour ago. My lap and Levis lap were soaked with my salty tears. The horse comes to a stop and I look up. We're in the stables with everyone else. Levi takes his arm off me and I get down. I hang my head and walk to the apple tree where I'd spent several days and nights. I climb to the top of it and bring my knees to my chest and sob even more. I can't believe that I just stood there and watched my closest friends get devoured. "I'm such a coward!" I whisper to myself putting my knees down. "Just a coward." I begin to hit the tree. "Coward! Worthless coward!" I hit the tree until my knuckles bleed.

"Y/n come down from the tree." I stop hitting the tree and look at my knuckles. They're bleeding horribly. "N-No! I w-want to be a-alone!" My voice cracks. "Either you come down or I come up there!" I wipe my face off with my sleeves and slowly make my way down the tree. Levi stands there with his arms crossed looking at me. His eyes shift to my hands. "What the hell happened to your hands?!" I look at my boots. "Nothing." Levi scoffs at me. "Come on lets get the blood off you." He grabs hold of my hand and pulls me to his office. Levi then gently pushes me down on his desk. I look around his office as he disappears to get a first aid kit I assume.

Levi walks back into the office and sits on the desk beside me. "Give me your hands." I lift my hands out of my lap and put them in his. Levi picks up my left hand and begins to clean the cuts. It stings like hell but I try my best to stay still. "Hitting things is not that best way to handle things y/n." I scoff and look upwards at him. "I don't need a lecture right now." Levi nods his head and continues to clean my cuts. After he's finished that he pulls out a damp rag and begins to wipe the blood off my face. I stare into his steel eyes and he stares into my e/c ones. Levis face is just an inch away from mine.

Levi leans in and plants a passionate kiss on my lips. I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around my waist careful not the break the kiss. Soon we're having a make out session. The kiss has gotten sloppy and more intense. "Levi we can't be doing this." I say breaking the kiss and putting my hands on his cheeks. "Why not?" His eyebrows furrow together in confusion. "What if you're gone next?" My words come out just above a whisper. Tears form in the brims of my e/c again. "I won't be gone next
y/n."

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Y'all this chapter for real made me ball my eyes out writing it. I loved Ezra and Mia..