Struggles

Part 9

Your pov

~dream/flashback~

I sit against a wall looking at my father who's smoking a cigar. "Y/n get over here." I scramble upwards from the dirty floor and stand in front of my father. "Stand still." He turns me around and lifts up the back of my shirt. I feel a burning sensation and wince in pain. "I said stand still damn it!" He pushes the cigar deeper into my flesh. This wasn't the first time it's happened and it certainly won't be the last. Father would often use my body to put out his cigars. This time it just so happened to be my back."Stop!" He pushes the cigar even further into my skin. "If you continue to have that damned free willed attitude y/n you'll never make it out of this house alive."

Once again I sit against the wall in our filthy living room. My mother stands across the room with a shotgun in her hands. She lays it down on the table and walks over to me. "Now y/n you're going to have to keep watch over your sister." Mother glances to a crib with my newborn sister in it. She was just born a week ago. "Remember y/n don't ever let anyone break that spirit of yours and most importantly don't ever let a man make you feel as if you're less of an individual than he is. I made that mistake and was cursed with two children I couldn't love." She places a soft kiss on the top of my head and picks up the shotgun off the table. I lift my small body off the ground and make my way over to her. "Please don't-" She pulls the trigger. My own mother's blood covers my body. A blood curdling scream exists my mouth. "Mommy no!" Crying comes from the nearby crib.

This was only the beginning of a life filled with sadness and despair.

~end of dream/flashback~

I sit up quickly and pull my knees to my chest. "Not again." I mumble shaking my head. Small tears form in my e/c eyes. "Y/n?" A hand is pressed against my back causing me to flinch away. I scurry to the foot of the bed and pull the blanket around me out of fear. I place my hands on my head to try and stop the thoughts. My breathing is completely out of control and I feel like I'm going to suffocate. "Y/n? Are you okay?" Opening my eyes I see Levi. "God damnit Levi!" He sits up and moves closer to me. He then places his hand on my thigh. "Are you okay?" His steel eyes are filled with worry and concern. "It was just a dream. Why are you awake?" Levi shakes his head. "Don't go changing the subject y/n." I let go of the blanket and it falls off me. "I wasn't changing the subject."

I stand up out of the bed and pop my back. "It was just a stupid dream. Don't worry about it." Levi also stands up from the bed and then walks to me. "Stupid dreams don't involve screaming and waking up crying y/n." I turn around so I can avoid Levis gaze. "Nightmare. A horrible nightmare." Arms wrap around my waist and me pulled closer to Levi. Damn he was trying really hard to make me want to be with him. Which I do don't get me wrong. I'd absolutely love to be Levis girlfriend but I just can't stand the thought of getting close to someone and then they're ripped away from me. "Wanna talk about it?" Levi whispers in my ear sending chills down my spine.

Me and Levi sit on his bed across from each other. After fifteen minutes he'd finally convinced me to talk about my dream. "Y/n we've sat here in silence for ten minutes." I sigh and turn around. For the past ten minutes I was thinking of how to start. This was the only way I could think of. I lift up the back of my shirt to reveal the burns left by my father. I look down at my chest and see all of the other burns left. My body was covered in them. Levis hand touches my back. His hand is cold against my skin. "Y/n what happened?" I take a deep breath put down my shirt and turn around. "My father used to use me to put out his cigars." Levis eyebrows furrow together. "It was one of the many things I was used for."

Levi brings his hand up to my cheek. "It was just memories of him and mom. I'm sure you're already aware of my mom considering that you have files on me." His thumb strokes my cheek. "I'm sorry-" I shake my head and push his hand away. "I don't need pity Levi." A smirk appears on his lips. "You're absolutely right." I share his smirk. "I'm glad we've come to an agreement." Levi stands up from the bed. The moonlight illuminates his face and body. "There doesn't seem to be any clouds out." A soft smiles tugs at the corner of my lips. "Wanna go look at the stars?" I ask getting up looking at Levi. He nods and opens his closet then throws a robe at me. "What'd I need this for?" He looks down at my legs then back at me. "You don't have pants on y/n." I put the robe on my body quickly. "Shit!"

Me and Levi found our way outside and were now sitting on the steps of HQ gazing up at the stars. My head rests on his shoulder and his arm is around my waist. "Y/n have you thought about earlier?" I knew exactly what Levi meant but I wanted to hear him say it. "Earlier?" I place my hand on his thigh. "I like you a lot y/n. I've never felt this way for any person before." I sit up and look at Levi. "Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?" A very noticeable blush is on Levis pale cheeks. "Yes." I thought about what Levi had said earlier about how in this world we eventually lose everyone we have so why should I distance myself from everyone. "I'd love to be your girlfriend Levi." He smiles and plants a soft kiss on my lips then puts his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. This was the first time I'd ever seen Levi actually smile and god damnit I loved it. I'll do anything to make him smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Woah
Woah
WOAH

One hundred reads??? Y'all this book isn't even worthy of that!! Ahhh!! Thank y'all so much for reading, voting, and commenting on this book!!! It means so much to me ^~^
But like for real literally last week we were at fifty reads!!! It's so amazing that people read my books!! Thank you!