Is This What Being Loved Feels Like

All the way

Authors note: sorry I haven't posted in a while, I know I suck. But school has been shitty and I wasn't able to find the time, also I know that chapter is short but I'm gonna keep writing and maybe I'll update again tonight. :)

Frank was shocked, appalled, to be frank (haha lol). Gerard, who was once shy and warm-hearted, had just now given him the coldest response he could've imagined. Frank couldn't help but just stare of the pile of skin and bones Gerard became. He suddenly felt Lindsey's breath on his cheek:

"He's so skinny!" Lindsey whispered to Frank.

"Ya, I know, I thought this was a hospital. It almost looks like they're making him worse!" He replied

"Might as well talk out loud, you two were never good at whispering anyway," Gerard said as a reply, not only shocking but embarrassing his two friends.

Frank felt his face turn red and he could feel the same happen to Lindsey.

"Sooo, how's life in the hospital?"Lindsey tried breaking the ice. Simultaneously walking towards the full plate of cold food that sat on Gerard's "bed table."

"Ya, did anyone come and visit? Your mom? Mikey?" Frank asked, staring at the back of Gerard's head as he was still sitting in the chair, back facing Frank.

"The hospital has been great, some of the nurses are bitchy but I usually just sleep all day," Gerard replied Lindsey, completely ignoring Franks question.

"Why haven't you been eating?" Lindsey asked, trying to hide the hint of concern in her voice.

Gerard stood up. "God his legs are so skinny," Frank thought.

"Self-improvement." Gerard bluntly replied.

He sat on his rickety hospital bed. He quickly covered himself with a blanket for protection from the cold. God, he must be cold.

"Self-improvement?" Lindsey questioned.

"Isn't this a version of self-destroyment, as one might say?" Frank asked, trying to receive somewhat of a sign from Gerard that he at least understands Frank is standing there, talking to him.

Silence, no answer. Frank could tell that he wasn't getting anywhere. He suddenly got angry. "How is he supposed to get better if he doesn't even acknowledge his friends? How is he going to get better with this so-called "self-improvement"?" Frank thought. He couldn't keep it in anymore; the words escaped his mouth as quickly as soap falling out of your hands.

"They're gonna send you away Gee! They're gonna send you to a crazy people house where there are crazy people rooms and crazy people doctors! Is that what you want for yourself? To forever live your life in a mental asylum because of your so-called "self-improvement"! In fact, it's not self-improvement Gerard, its fucking anorexia! You're fucking anorexic! And depressed! You're fucking anorexic and depressed! You know what that fucking means?! It means that you don't eat and you destroy your body! Is that what you want for yourself, Gerard?"

Gerard's face turned white and was overcome by hurt. Lindsey's mouth was agape as she displayed the most terrified, insulted expression. "It was worth it," Frank thought, "Now Gerard will recognize his mistakes."

For the seemingly first time in this strange confrontation, Gerard finally made direct eye contact with Frank. Gerard stood up from his bed shakily and slowly walked over to Frank. As he reached Frank, he stood so close that their noses were only an inch apart. It was so close that Frank could smell the hospital scent that lay on Gerard's skin.

"Don't. Ever. Call. Me. Gee. Ever. Again." He said, as he slowly backed away from Frank and sat on his bed.

"Now get out."He said, looking down at his bed, clenching his fists.

"Get out, get out, get out, get out!" He began to yell

"GET OUT! GET OUT!" He screamed frantically. His monitors began to beep. As his body began to shake.

Nurses started pilling in checking Gerard monitors as he continued to scream for Frank to get out. In all of the commotion, Frank noticed that Gerard began to slow down and lose his breath, but it wasn't because he started to calm down.

"I think he's having a heart attack!" One of the nurses yelled.

Franks' eyes were attached to Gerard's body, which was being placed down flat on the bed. One of the nurses began to usher him and Lindsey out. Frank did nothing but comply; he was too in shock to fight them, to fight for Gerard.

The nurses slammed the door behind Frank and Lindsey. Frank who was still in the moment, had sat down on the floor.

"Are you ok?"Lindsey walked up, crouched down, and asked Frank, cautiously.

"Did I just give Gerard fucking Way a heart attack?" Frank asked breathlessly.

"Probably not," Lindsey said. "It was probably just a panic attack; there's no way that what you said did something to his heart. It was the truth. It just hurt him more than expected."

Frank felt reassured; however, he still felt the guilt.

"You sure know a lot about this doctor stuff, what are you a doctor enthusiast?" Frank said in an attempt to lighten the mood. It sure worked.

"Haha, no, I want to be a therapist when I'm older, help people like Gerard with their problems. Doctor knowledge comes with the job."

"Nice," Frank said.

"I'm sure everything is ok, we'll just come back and see tomorrow," Lindsey said.

"Tomorrow?!" Frank exclaimed. "Did you see him, he fucking hates me, he doesn't want to see me."

"Ha, please. The boy slits his wrists in the bathtub because he was so madly in love with you and you broke his heart; I know everything. Especially the fact that he had a crush on you for a while, and by the way the outcome looks, you must've said some pretty ass whipping shit to him that made him do this." Lindsey said.

Frank began to blush. Gerard? In love with him? He was harsh, but he never knew about Gerard having a crush on him.

Lindsey noticed the dazed and confused look on Franks' face.

"You need a smoke, my friend," Lindsey said.

She grabbed Franks' arms and hoisted him up from the floor.

"We're going to my place." She said, placing her arm around Franks' shoulder in a sisterly way.

"We are gonna make him better. Me, you, us, wherever they take him, wherever they place him. We will be there. All the way." She passionately stated.

"All the way," Frank repeated.