Abit about faith

Chapter 7

I woke up to a knock on my bed room door and a soft voice saying "darling the social workers are here." The sound of my grandma's voice in the morning made me smile but what she said about the social workers made me feel tense. I then sat up in bed and put my head in my hands, my gran walked in and said "oh darling it's going to be alright I promise." My head then slowly raise after I heard my gran's comforting voice saying I'm going to be okay,it made me smile but I was still worried.she then walked over to the bed and sat down beside me and held my hand and said "come on get ready and will got down together." I then walk to the bathroom and got changed, while putting my jumper on I saw what I had did to myself. I felt disappointed in myself but I need relief I need saving. I walk out the bathroom trying to carry my head high, my gran walked over to me and grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes and said "come on let's go." She then lead the way and I slowly followed,she walked in the living room and stood there at the door and took a deep breath and prepared myself for the lies that I was about to hear.

I took one step into the room and I already wanted to be out. I didn't want to hear all the lie they had to say, like I ran away and it was all my fault when they full well no it's weren't me.I then continued in to the living room and sat down next to my gran,all eyes were on me I felt very uncomftebale. I heard a voice say after about 5 minute of silence "so faith what going on" I look up at the social worker and said nothing she then said to me "come to the kitchen and will talk there." I stood up and walk towards the kitchen, I had a glance of my foster parents and they just looked at me evilly as in to say you better not tell the truth,cause they would be the ones in the wrong. I sat down in the kitchen with my head down and the social worker softly said "can you tell me now?" I keep my head down and just shock my head to saying no. She look at me and said "is it true you ran away ?" I then slowly look up with a tear in my eye and shyly said "no" so the social worker said "what did happen then?" A tear dropped on my cheek and I looked down. She said "don't be afraid everything's okay" I look up and still said nothing, 5 minutes later I spat something out "I don't want to talk about it" she then look at me softly and said "that mean we can't help you and your going to have to go back with them" another tear dropped down my cheek, but I just nodded to say that I had understood. She then stood up and walk towards the kitchen door and said "come on then" I stood up and walk in to the living room. The social work said "I think it time to go home now,with faith" and then my foster mum then said evilly "come on let's go" and the social worker then said "we're be checking in every 2 weeks" my foster parents face were shocked,the didn't expect to have the social nosing around they probably thought I had said some thing. My foster parents were now getting very inpatient and quickly said "come faith let go" and I just looked at my gran with a blank look and then went over to her and hugged her good bye and she said "I love you faith I'm always going to be here for you,okay?" I then relayed "okay gran I love you forever and always." I then went to my grandad and gave him a massive hug and I said "I love you grandad" then kissed him on the cheek and then he kissed the top of my head and said "love you too faith." I walk to the small horrible red car that look like it just been hit by a Lorry and I got in the back and buckled up and look out the window and waved to my grandma and grandad.

I sat at the back of the car just staring out the window. Not knowing what to do with my self,even thought it was not far to there house it felt like for ever. Tears trickled down my face as I remember everything that they said to me. I could not hide my emotion. I wiped my tears away for the car had stop because we were so called home. I got out the of the car and walked slowly towards the front door but all I wanted to do was to turn away and run but I couldn't because my foster dad was straight behind me. As soon as I enter the shitty house I went up to my room and sat on my bed and cried. I felt my self slipping. I new what I was doing was wrong but it felt so good. It gave me relief so I just did not care. I rummaged though my drawers to try and find my blades but I could not find them. I just started to panic. They were my relief. They took away my pain. Suddenly I found them right at the bottom with things piled on top so no one could find them. I took the blade and dragged it across my already scarred skin. I felt no more pain. I just felt numb. Getting deeper the more I did. Some I went over again and again just for the blood to rush out. Seeing the blood rush reminded me I still was still alive and fighting and that I had a pulse. The blood rush as I cried for what I have done. I find some plasters and place them over the open deep cuts but the blood seeped through so I had to get a load of tissue and then rap a bandage around my wrist. I laid there in my bed and cried. Cried my self to sleep.